In a relationship, two people need to put equal amounts of effort to make it work out. Understanding, communication, loyalty, trust and compromises are just some of the building blocks of a healthy relationship. Therapist Sadaf Siddiqi further listed down a few things that we should strive for in a relationship to make it healthy, happy and safe.
Grief is natural after a breakup. When any kind of relationship goes through a termination, it is natural to feel that sadness. However, often breakups are the chance to start something new. "Breakups are not just an ending; they're a new beginning. They provide you with a unique opportunity to redirect all the love and energy you were pouring into the other person, back into the most important relationship of all: the one you have with yourself," wrote Therapist Jordan Green. Here are a few ways to support ourselves after a breakup.
In a marriage, fighting and having conflicts are natural. Contrary to what we think, conflicts are actually healthy because they help us understand the perspective of the partner better. However, conflicts are healthy only when they are addressed in a healthy way. Couples coach Julia Woods shared a few tips on how to resolve a conflict with your spouse.
We should ask ourselves if the need is negotiable or non-negotiable. If it is not one of the core needs, we should work on accepting that the partner cannot meet the need. If the need if non-negotiable, we should work on the next steps, such as couple therapy, giving space to each other, or separating from the relationship.
It is important to have respect, loyalty, communication, understanding and trust in a relationship. It takes a lot of effort from both ends to create a healthy and safe space for two people to grow together. Knowing what is healthy for us and for the other person and working on it accordingly helps in creating a happy relationship. Here are a few signs, noted down by Relationship Coach Kasturi M.
Emotional dumping is the unhealthy practice of dumping emotions on another person without considering their boundaries or seeking their consent. Usually in a relationship, emotional dumping happens from one partner. “Unlike healthy emotional sharing, where both parties are engaged in a balanced exchange, emotional dumping is more one-sided. The individual doing the dumping may not be open to receiving feedback, or they may overlook the impact their outpouring has on the listener. This can leave the listener feeling overwhelmed, burdened, or emotionally drained,” wrote Therapist Linda Meredith. Here are a few signs of emotional dumping that we should be aware of.
No person in the world should ever have to worry about their beloved cheating on them. But affairs do not happen overnight. They are often triggered due to a prolonged period of disturbances in their present relationship. While nothing can ever justify cheating or the act of lying, here are a few reasons which can kill love and affection in a relationship - Couples Coach Julia Woods shared.
We often expect the partner’s brain to work exactly the way ours does. This is wrong to think because what excites us may not excite them. We should embrace the individuality of the partner.
In a relationship, certainty develops over a period of time. It is natural to be unsure of the partner in the initial stages of the relationship. However, if you are still unsure of the relationship even after a long period of time, it is important to reconsider. “Many people will struggle to be completely certain, not because it’s the wrong relationship or person, but simply because there are not many unknowns. With that in mind I would say, don’t aim for certain but rather, aim for contentment,” wrote Therapist Lucille Shackleton. Here are a few questions to ask ourselves when we feel that we are not sure of the partner and the relationship.
Marriages do not break overnight. The cracks happen over a long period of time, especially when the issues go unaddressed. Conflicts are natural in any relationship, but learning to effectively address the issues and finding a common ground to agree, are the keys to a happy and healthy relationship. Couples Coach Julia Woods shared a few signs that your marriage may be in trouble.
Being in a relationship where we do not feel loved and valued, can be very difficult. "It doesn’t matter if your partner is stressed, busy or emotionally unavailable. You are still not getting what you need from your relationship and that hurts. You’re not being too sensitive or expecting too much. You’re hurting and that pain is justified," wrote Relationship Coach Marlena Tillhon. Here are a few signs that we are clinging on to someone who does not love us.
In a relationship, it is important that we work on ourselves and imbibe the skills to show up in a loving and nurturing way for our partner. "Being a safe partner means making the choice to show up and do the work required. It may not always be easy, but it’s a necessary part of creating secure, loving and thriving relationships," wrote Therapist Lucille Shackleton. Here are a few skills that we need to learn to be a safe partner in a relationship.
In a relationship, when we feel that we're stuck in the loop of conflict, it is important to reevaluate the ways we are addressing issues. "When you find yourself stuck in a loop of repeating the same unwanted pattern, the only way out is to illuminate the underlying unconscious process. When it comes to conflict in relationships it is always these implicit patterns that create negative repetition," wrote Couples Therapist Jordan Dann.
In a relationship, we have our own sets of needs, wants and expectations. However, the expectations we have in a relationship should be reasonable. "You are allowed to have expectations- and should have expectations- in your relationship. Expecting to get diamonds every anniversary? Well, that’s not a fair expectation. Expecting your partner will know what you’re thinking about being told? Also not a fair expectation. But wishing you’d receive some comfort when you’re sad? That’s a fair expectation (and a need)," wrote Psychotherapist Emily H Sanders.
A conscious relationship enables us to create the space for healthy understanding and communication. This is built through awareness of ourselves and of the partner. "Embracing curiosity, empathy, and validation can lead you toward a profound connection with your significant other. By accepting our partners as they are, not as we wish them to be, we unlock the path to a conscious and loving relationship," wrote Couples Therapist Jordan Dann.
The fear of abandonment can make us feel scared of our own security and stability as well. This fear can further trigger a lot of behavioural patterns which are unhealthy for us. "Abandonment is not often recognized as trauma. The truth is, abandonment means different things to different people. It is an extremely personal & individual experience. Some have experienced physical abandonment by one or both parents leaving, through divorce, separation or loss of life. Some may have experienced emotional abandonment, when they were neglected, their needs not meet, & made to feel like they didn’t matter. Fear of abandonment doesn’t always come from leaving directly. It can come from the indirect things that could lead to them leaving. It comes from the loss of love. And sadly, the cycle of abandonment causes you to abandon yourself and leave good relationships in unconscious ways," wrote Therapist Emmylou Antonieth Seaman.
The relationship we are in heavily impacts our personal lives and our perception of ourselves. Loving, healthy relationships can improve our self-confidence and our trust in our abilities, while toxic relationships can make us doubt everything about ourselves. "Healthy relationships provide validation and acceptance. When people appreciate and accept us for who we are, it reinforces our sense of self-worth. This external validation helps us internalise positive beliefs about ourselves and has a positive impact on self-esteem," wrote Therapist Lucille Shackleton.
Gaslighting is a manipulative technique used in toxic relationships where one partner tries to twist the perspective of reality of the other partner, making them believe that they are wrong. "Some people engage in gaslighting un-intentionally because they've developed the behaviors as a coping mechanism, especially if that's what was modeled to them as children," wrote Therapist Sadaf Siddiqi. Here are five ways in which gaslighting happens.
