‘I’ll send Robert De Niro one of the first copies of my autobiography’ | Bollywood - Hindustan Times
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‘I’ll send Robert De Niro one of the first copies of my autobiography’

Hindustan Times | ByNavneet Vyasan
Jul 22, 2019 05:39 PM IST

Anupam Kher, who is all set to release his autobiography next month, feels nostalgia is very painful. The legendary actor’s idol will the book’s first copy

When I read Chaplin’s autobiography, I was living on the streets. I was sleeping on the platform, I had no money,” says Anupam Kher who is all set to release his autobiography next month. The veteran actor hopes that his autobiography, like the one by his idol (Charlie Chaplin), inspire people to take that leap of faith with conviction to realise their dreams. The title, Lessons Life Taught Me Unknowingly, set to release on August 5, will give readers an insight into his life from the time he was a young boy to today, a veteran movie legend, with almost four decades of experience under his belt. Excerpts from an interview

Anupam Kher(Amal KS/HT)
Anupam Kher(Amal KS/HT)

You had said in an interview, “This book is about my failures and not my successes,” which is a very apt way to describe one’s autobiography...

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I had written a book before, The Best Thing about You Is You. It was more of a life coaching book. This one is an autobiography. But this is not about a life of an actor. This is an autobiography of a person who has lived life and has learnt lots of things. It is about the journey of a small town clerk’s son and the lessons life taught him.

I remember when the publishing house approached me. Back then, I was going through a rough phase in my life. I was suffering from facial paralysis and I had almost gone bankrupt. The catch is that the world does not perceive you that way, it does not see that. The world feels everyone who is talked about and written about is successful. At that time, I said I was not a writer, they said tape it. But when I recorded for around 10-12 hours of voice notes, and listened, I realised that I only talked about what went wrong in my life. And some of them are really funny, when I look back at them.

What was the writing process like?

I started writing my autobiography at the age of 10. That makes for the opening line of the book, too. When you revisit your life, it gives you very mixed feelings. There is a very good line in my film, Daddy (1989), ‘yaad karne par, beeta hua sukh bhi dukh hi deta hai’. It is true because you are remembering your childhood, your struggles and it is sweet yet painful. Nostalgia is painful. There have been times when I am in New York, and I smell something on the streets and I remember my childhood.

When you are from a poor family, you are driven to do something great in life. I have been performing my life story on stage for so many years, that I noticed there are so many minute intricacies which will look good in a book. So when I started writing, I first got my play translated into English. But that was nothing compared to what I wanted to write. I wanted to describe the smell of the mud of my land, the visuals of the snow clad mountains where I lived, the feel of being a lower middle class and my poor Hindi school. All this cannot happen in a play or a film. But in a book, it can be captured. So, the process involved taping conversations with myself and transcribing it. Then I started giving it a form. But yes, even today, when I read it, it feels like there are so many things that I’ve left out.

Then, how do you decide what to incorporate and what to let go?

So, three years ago when I decided the title of my book, it gave me new found focus. So, the title told me what to add what to miss. I have always wanted my life to be inspirational. Because when I was a struggling actor, I used to read autobiographies of people to deal with life and the hardships. But my book is more about the way I have conducted life and the way I have not let failures bother me. There are so many people in the world who want to make it, who don’t have godfathers, and all they need is the right attitude. So, I hope my book can become the means for them to gain that confidence.

If one watches your interviews, you come across as a very confident artiste. Were you a confident writer as well?

I come across as confident and powerful because I speak the truth, no matter how comfortable or uncomfortable it is for me or the other person. My grandfather used to say, ‘if you are telling the truth, then you don’t have to remember it’. Also, it comes from the fact that I gained a lot of emotional strength because I lived in a joint family. Even though we were poor, I was emotionally secure. But I have to say, as a writer, no, I was not confident. But I know that I was sincere. But I must add that I did not want to hurt anybody either.

But if it is the truth, then you may have to ruffle a few feathers…

No, my truth cannot hurt anybody. I will have to camouflage it. In fact, I have done that with my play, too. I have made sure that it is not at the expense of anybody’s pain.

Another person one can think of, who is not afraid to speak the truth is your good friend, actor Robert DeNiro. Will he read the book?

Yes, I am going to give him the first copy. I will be in New York, USA, when the book comes out. In fact, he has the manuscript of my earlier book too. Before the book was published, I had given him the manuscript of the Best Thing About You Is You. This was when we were shooting in Philadelphia for Silver Linings Playbook (2012). So, that is also mentioned in the book.

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