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Home / Books / Oh, that funny Danielle Steel

Oh, that funny Danielle Steel

Her romances have sold about 600 million copies, but the celebrity author could have written humour too.

books Updated: Mar 06, 2010, 23:57 IST
The Washington Post
The Washington Post

On learning the Dalai Lama has a Twitter account: “What does he write? ‘Praying now,’ I suppose.”

On appearing to have a good relationship with her nine kids: “Well, we lie publicly.”

On being the responsible pet owner in the family: “Dog poop is my role in the family. I’m the person they announce to, ‘Oh, the dog just went in the dining room.’ ... I always said I shared a dog with my husband. He had the front end and I had the back end.”

Danielle Steel is funny.

Not funny like “eccentric” or ironic funny, but actual funny, like a sitcom that would be called “Oh, That Danielle!,” about a designer-clad 62-year-old novelist who wisecracks her way through the annoyances of celebrityhood.

She is breakfasting at a swanky New York hotel, joking about doing battle with the plumber at her Paris home. She’s talking about the time she recently got trapped on an airplane runway for hours and thought about mugging the small child next to her for his Oreos.

She looks a bit older than her airbrushed book jacket photos, but more approachable, too, with a chesty laugh and a wicked eye roll.

No one ever mentions her sense of humour. What gets mentioned is melodrama. Heartache.

The interviews Steel grants inevitably result in articles that make her sound like a sad Miss Havisham, wandering forlornly around the Paris house or the San Francisco mansion, lamenting her failed marriages and other tragic events. The pervasive theme? Danielle Steel’s life could be one of her novels!

No wonder she hates interviews.

There are rules for heroines in romantic fiction. They can be cold, they can be damaged, they can be arrogant or insecure. They cannot be fat. Steel missed that memo when she wrote her new novel, Big Girl.

Released last week, it features a protagonist who is not merely a few pounds chubby, but genuinely heavy at a size 16. Victoria Dawson has brains, heart, friends, career and about 40 extra pounds settling around her midsection. She also has a stunning younger sister and shallow parents whose catty comments only send her galloping more desperately toward the Ben &Jerry’s.

“It dawned on me that most books are about beautiful people finding other beautiful people,” says Steel, who’s written one or 40 of those books herself.

“And I just thought it must be sort of discouraging for the normal part of humanity to get left out of that.”

She’s previously discussed other body-image issues in the form of eating disorders, and prides herself on staying topical.

The petite Steel has never struggled with her weight, but knows the self-esteem gremlins that haunt department-store dressing rooms.

“I always forget,” she sighs deeply, “that I’m a foot shorter than the models and a hundred years older.”

Happy Endings
Will Victoria find love? Will she overcome adversity? Does the pope know Latin? (Have you read any Danielle Steel?) Plot twists, she’s known for but they inevitably untwist themselves in time for a happy ending.

If this particular plot doesn’t appeal to you, just wait four months. Steel’s Family Ties will be out in June, about a young woman who unexpectedly gains custody of her sister’s children.

Legacy is out in October, about a woman tracing her genealogy to make sense of her life.

In May, Steel will start writing an untitled project featuring a heroine with health issues, and just a few days ago she got an e-mail from a friend, the deaf actress Marlee Matlin, asking whether she’d ever thought about a novel whose main character was hearing-impaired.

Drama in real life
Steel’s readership is astronomical, with nearly 600 million copies of her books in print, and it’s a rare bestseller list that doesn’t include one or more of her dozens of fiction titles.

Back when the Guinness Book of World Records tracked this sort of thing, Steel won a slot for the longest stint of bestsellers in publishing; she’s written more than a hundred volumes novels, nonfiction, poetry and children’s books total.

“If I let her, she’d write six books a year,” says Morton Janklow, her longtime literary agent, recalling the time he phoned up Steel only to hear her weeping on the other end of the phone.

Through heaving sobs, she explained the crisis: She didn’t know whether one of her own characters would live or die, and the agony was killing her.

“She’s someone who intuitively has a direct line into the hearts of women. People have tried to mimic that style, but it never works. She’s very sincere.”

There is something in Steel’s work that readers cling to that makes them identify with characters even when the plots are outlandish. “I always try to write about believable people,”

Steel says. “I’m always getting letters from people saying, ‘That’s the situation I was in,’ or ‘That’s the story of my life.’ ... I did a book about a woman in the clutches of a sociopath, and that got a tremendous amount of response.”

Suddenly you realise that Danielle Steel’s fans or maybe Steel herself may live more dramatic lives than you or I.

The stories about Steel that squeeze her into the Havisham box sound scandalous, but they’re not untrue based on biographical information that has been trailing Steel for years.

There was a 1970s wedding to an inmate she’d met while either visiting another prisoner or researching a magazine article, depending on which account you read. There was another marriage to the drug addict who fathered her son Nicholas.

Tragically, Nicholas committed suicide at 19, prompting Steel to write His Bright Light, a memoir of his brief life.

There were other relationships stable, long-term ones with prominent businessmen and eight more children, both biological and step.

Plus, her own glamourous socialite childhood: born to a beer scion and a diplomat’s daughter, and raised in a life of New York privilege and European dinner parties. Observing the dramatic lives of the adults around her, she has said, would later inspire her to become a writer.

After studying fashion at Parsons and NYU, Steel took a job with a women-owned public relations firm called Supergirls. She began writing during her off-hours. Her first novel, the well-received Going Home, was published when she was in her 20s; the five she wrote after it were rejected.

As she married and had children five are with vintner John Traina; she also adopted his two sons from a previous marriage and has a daughter older than Nicholas.

She feared carving out space for her own career, even as her books began to sell and her success began to grow.

"I was still someone’s mom; I was still someone’s wife,” she says.

“My generation has been careful about not ruffling anyone’s feathers. My career always had to fit into the family thing.”

“I try to be very real and honest with my readers,” says Steel, but she grew wary of the endless rehashing that’s followed her personal mistakes, as if she is everybody’s favourite morality play.

“We’ve all had stuff in our lives that we’ve done or we regret. There comes a point where it’s too difficult, and too painful, and you don’t want to embarrass yourself.”

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