Toni Morrison on separating yourself from the work you do
As the discussion about work-life balance, the Nobel Prize-winning American novelist’s thoughts on work seem particularly pertinent
Our work often grants us the social status we desire, whether it’s functioning as a provider, achieving self-sufficiency, or having the freedom to make our own decisions. It can even empower us to confront that snooty aunty who’s always been ready to belittle us. Your job contributes to your sense of self and often becomes more important than everything else in your life. However, creating an identity solely through work can come with its own baggage; it is a burden that will strangle your sense of self whenever you try to put it down.

In 2017, Toni Morrison wrote an essay, The Work You Do, The Person You Are, for The New Yorker, where she expressed the same. At the age of 11, Morrison began working as a house helper for a few hours after school. Earning two dollars — a dollar of which went to her mother — filled her with pride, allowing her to spend the other dollar on self-treats like “movies, candy, paddleballs, jacks, ice-cream cones.” She attained the pleasure, pride and freedom that came with being self-sufficient and contributing to her family’s finances. She felt powerful. “I was not like the children in folktales: burdensome mouths to feed, nuisances to be corrected, problems so severe that they were abandoned to the forest. I had a status that doing routine chores in my house did not provide — and it earned me a slow smile, an approving nod from an adult,” she writes. But as she grew more skilled at her work, her employer’s demands increased. Morrison lacked the courage to discuss or object to them, fearing she might lose the freedom and status that her two dollars provided.
In India, we are all too familiar with this feeling. CEOs of major corporations advocate for 90-hour work weeks and suggest that weekends are a Western concept, therefore unnecessary for Indians. There’s pressure to outwork everyone else to feel worthy, for promotions or, in some cases, simply to keep our jobs that are essential for our livelihoods. The consequences of such a culture are evident in what appears in newspaper columns and on angry LinkedIn posts screaming for change.
After the harrowing letter from the mother of Anna Sebastian to Ernst & Young’s chairman, which detailed how the 26-year-old’s overwhelming workload had contributed to her tragic death, the conversation about work-life balance intensified across Indian television, social media, and workplaces. On July 20, last year, Sebastian had returned home late from the office and collapsed. She was pronounced dead upon arrival at the hospital. Similar cases have come to light, including that of 42-year-old Tarun Saxena, a former Area Manager at Bajaj Finance, who took his own life in September 2024. His suicide note described appalling work conditions including harassment to meet unrealistic targets and threats of salary reductions. Both these incidents highlight the distressing reality for many individuals trapped in toxic work environments.
At my previous job, everyone was expected to work around the clock — including on weekends. “Loving your work” was the official motto for our unhealthy conditions. Instructions changed daily, like a game of corporate bingo, with unrealistic targets that kept us on our toes and on the edge of sanity. I actually ended up being less efficient and effective because of the work style. However, being fresh out of college, I never dared to voice my concerns. I was just thrilled to earn my own money and be independent in Delhi. That meant swallowing a lot of frustration and turning it into rants for my friends and family. Ranting is perhaps the only outlet that provides individuals with a sense of validation and pleasure. It is certainly most satisfying.
However, it does not provide a solution.

One day, in the kitchen at home, Morrison also vents about her job to her father. He knew that she wanted a solution that was beyond quitting. Without a hint of sympathy, he replied: “Listen. You don’t live there. You live here. With your people. Go to work. Get your money. And come on home.”
These simple words reminded her that home, family and friends are your real life. Work is important too but to do it well, one has to take care of the other aspects of life. In her article, she wrote:
“That was what he said. This was what I heard:
1.Whatever the work is, do it well — not for the boss but for yourself.
2.You make the job; it doesn’t make you.
3.Your real life is with us, your family.
4.You are not the work you do; you are the person you are.”
Corporations and employers need to be held accountable and they are the larger change-makers but workers also have to establish boundaries for their own well-being. If you are asked to submit a report that requires you to hunch over your laptop at midnight, you are not committing a crime by asking if it can wait until morning. Prove to your employers that you can maintain your boundaries and still deliver a strong performance.
These are the perils of white-collar life. We are at least in the position of being able to think of pushing back against unreasonable demands. Meanwhile, countless unaccounted lives — house help, labourers, miners, and factory workers — might not have the same luxury to voice their discontent. Every time we stay silent, we miss an opportunity to wield our privilege and advocate for a better work culture.
Morrison became one of the world’s most acclaimed and beloved writers — perhaps her success stemmed from her choice to prioritize herself over work and to pursue what she genuinely enjoyed. She concludes the essay with these poignant words: “I have worked for all sorts of people since then, geniuses and morons, quick-witted and dull, bighearted and narrow. I’ve had many kinds of jobs, but since that conversation with my father I have never considered the level of labor to be the measure of myself, and I have never placed the security of a job above the value of home.”
We all deserve workspaces which make us look forward to them every morning. It won’t harm you to throw the baggage on the floor sometimes; it might, instead, be better for you and your work.
Of course, this is easier said than done. But I do hope that Morrison’s words will stick in a little corner of your mind. Maybe at some point, when life takes one of its weird turns, you will realise what she meant and have the courage to practice her four mantras. Some day, I will too.
Paridhi Badgotri is a Delhi-based writer.
