Go with the flow, trust the course but stay attuned

Spice of Life: The best way to live life is to flow with it; accepting what is, making sincere efforts to repair whatever needs fixing and trusting the process

It’s often advocated to go with the flow. Events such as graduation, job, marriage and arrival of children are blessings. As we proceed on these, roadblocks come in the way, affecting the flow, and sometimes forcing one to proactively chart one’s own path. However, going with the flow does help. It’s most often worthwhile to trust the course of life.

A basic consciousness, while taking life as it comes, goes a long way in living well. (Representational photo)

Also, it is to be realised that children have an innate sense of right from wrong, which makes it sensible to let them be instead of perpetually trying to change them. There is an incident narrated by my mother in this context that has left an imprint on my mind.

When my mother was eight years old, an elderly woman on the street used to lie down in the courtyard of any random household. Someone or the other would bring her food. Her husband was no more, and her two sons had abandoned her. Once, my mother had gone to a far-off market for buying some items. She spotted the woman, who waved at her. When my mother went up to her, presuming she needed assistance, the woman grabbed hold of her hand and started asking around for alms! At that age also, my mother could sense that this was uncalled for behaviour and somehow escaped from her clutches.

Another narrative is when I was pursuing my undergraduate degree in psychology, and had once interviewed a favourite professor for a project. She told me about a couple who had a girl child. The girl was born with a deformity in both the thumbs. However, as she grew up, she could manage all her tasks using the hands in a different yet effective way. The parents, though, got her operated. The surgery corrected her thumbs but hampered their functionality as by that time she had become so adapted and accustomed to using her thumbs-with-deformity, that her new thumbs were useless to her. She didn’t know what to do with them!

This is not to undermine the value of taking timely action, of being preventive instead of being curative, and to work towards solutions; but to know whether and when to do these, calls for both intuitive and pragmatic wisdom. Generally, life will give enough hints and indications in this direction. Consistent gauging, too, comes in handy.

To shout, in a way, is also to go against the flow. Plus, whenever one shouts, it’s usually because of his/her own hurt. We feel we deserve more, that life has been unfair, or that we are elder/superior. However, in our constantly changing world, no one is entitled. Even if something is wrong, shouting mutes the message we intend to give. It’s always better to stay calm, and deliver or convey the message politely later on. It’s bound to have a better effect.

Especially with parents, this is often the case. For instance, I once read that a kid is more likely to say, ‘Please play with me’ instead of, ‘I had a bad day’. But indeed, mindfulness and attunement are essential to be able to read such messages given by life.

The best way to live life is to flow with it; accepting what is, making sincere efforts to repair whatever needs fixing and trusting the process, as said by Avis Viswanathan, the life coach, author and speaker. I’ll take the liberty to add that a basic consciousness, while taking life as it comes, also goes a long way. reemaban@gmail.com

The writer is a Jagadhri-based freelance contributor