E-Paper
Guest column: Parenting through Millennials’ eyes
Millennials’ parenting can be a potentially dangerous cocktail of gems passed down to the likes of me by Generation X and baby boomers mixed with the urgent need to tailor them for Generation Alpha
A good course can help one develop the analytical mind of an engineer, a well-crafted curriculum can shape one into a prolific lawyer, good mentors and relentless practice will make one a surgeon to reckon with and even holistic teaching courses will warrant one to become effective in classrooms! There is, however, only one role, which one essays with plain fluke.
There exists no formal course for it. Moreover, this role lasts a lifetime, since it does not come with a retirement age. And, if successful, it enables one to become a good human being! It is the role of a parent. Such great responsibility, and such little clarity on how to deliver it.
I am a millennial mother. This term itself seems to be an oxymoron. This means that my parenting can be a potentially dangerous cocktail of gems passed down to the likes of me by Generation X and baby boomers mixed with the urgent need to tailor them for Generation Alpha. For easier comprehension, let us liken parenting styles to birds. Nest 1 loves its birds, feeds them regularly, gives them plenty of water, but does not allow them to leave the room. “Stay where I can see you,” says mama bird. And correctly so, because baby birds might get entangled in wires or get eaten by cats! Nest 2 loves its birds too. Besides sumptuous grains and water, it allows them a flight or two, preparing them for imminent dangers such as electricity poles and feline creatures. Of course, a mishap may take place. However, there also an equal chance that baby birds learn to fight on their own. But nest 1 won’t take a risk because they’ve seen other silly birdies do that and fall flat on their face. “Electrocuted bodies don’t make a pretty sight”, they warn their baby birds day in and day out.
The world is full of now-adult baby birds from nest 1 who belong to a different time, but are readying a generation for the future. I here refer to Generation Y and the Alpha Generation, respectively. Authority structures, hierarchy and traditional power structures will not work for its offspring, who are meant for different times. What does that mean?
Like a true blue ‘woke’ Millennial, I go to my good old, trusted Google and scavenge journals to understand the different generations. Baby boomers and Generation X parenting mantras have been to control and direct. Millennials are products of that system. However, these will have to bring up a generation whose mantra will be to inspire and empower. How will they do that? There’s only so much that Google can tell!
Well-known thought leader and futurist Mark McCrindle predicts that Generation Αlpha will need to be far more adaptive and resilient than its predecessors. They will need to be in sync with the trends, aligned with diversity and have a clear vision about outcomes through unity. What sounds like just jargon to the Baby Boomers and Gen Xers is actually much more. McCrindle breaks it down to three Es — engage, equip and entrust. It means that it is important to understand what mama bird did for us probably worked for us, but it may not work for our Alpha baby birds. It also means that our alpha baby birds will need to be equipped with people skills and confidence. The era of arrogantly announcing that I am not a people’s person, and not actively addressing it, is officially over. This era is that of growth through collaboration. It is not a time for being leader-centric, but rather team-centric. No organisation, business or family will last without collaborating. Lastly, the Generation Y will have to entrust and give the Alpha people an opportunity to step up and create space. Something like nest 2. But of course, it is important to remember that not everything will work out. With this opportunity, comes a responsibility to admit mistakes, take blame in one’s stride and hopefully, not repeat the mistake.
Parenting styles will always be diverse. So will generations. Nevertheless, irrespective of what generation of parenting it is, it is bound to be a strong thread of love. As the sandwich generation (a term each parent generation likes to give to themself), I’d say that we all hit and try to the best of our knowledge. For far too long, the thread of love has been taut. Maybe, we’ll have to learn to let it lose and watch our baby birds soar, and prepare ourselves if they come crashing down. There will always be chinks in perspectives, famously called generation gaps. If only one can disallow these gaps from engulfing the love that each mama bird has for her baby bird, I think we’re good.
(The writer is a Chandigarh-based educationist and work-in-progress mama bird)
