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Guest Column: The battle of favourites
While parents cannot choose favourites, grandparents love their grandchildren more than their own children
It is a truth universally acknowledged, that parents do not pick favourites among their children, even though their wards at different times may feel their sibling is the favoured one or vice versa. However, grandparents are free of any such compunctions, as the Punjabi saying goes ‘mool naalon, vyaaz payara’( interest is dearer than the principle), and as such blatantly love and pamper their grandchildren more than their own children.
My wife and I came to this realisation when our first granddaughter was born in Canada. Our all-encompassing love for her brought us to Canada for a few months every year and when she turned two, we stayed with her for almost a year. As doting grandparents, we would make it a point to spend as much time as possible with her, happily volunteering to feed her, play with her, take her to the park and to the swings.
Our bonding was so strong that when it came time to part, I felt choked with emotions. The idea of spending months without her seemed unfathomable. The toddler, however, mercifully, could hardly understand the pangs of separation.
Treasuring memories
Back in India, we would speak over the phone and visit Canada periodically and my yearning for her kept growing. Later, our grandson was born. However, we did not get to stay with him for long periods as we did with our granddaughter. He is equally dear to us but somewhere I have always had a special spot for my granddaughter. She grew up as a very playful and cheerful child. At times, we would miss her call and she would confidently leave a message on the answering machine. Those messages are a pleasure to hear even after all these years, making them one of my most treasured possessions.
My grandson is not without endearing qualities. He is quiet, sharp and studious. A sensitive and emotional soul, he is happy to help with household chores and has a passion for baking and cooking. It is always a pleasure to indulge in long discussions on finances, cars, travel tourism, and sports with him. He wears his heart on his sleeve, once when we arrived for a surprise visit to Canada, he was moved to tears.
Staking a claim
Our granddaughter is his polar opposite, she is carefree, loves fast food and always finds excuses to not cook, and palm off household chores. She loves playing pranks on her grandparents but calls for us as soon as she spots a bug, spider or a fly. She recently celebrated her 16th birthday and received a new phone. She saved her number in my phone as ‘favourite grandchild’, clearly staking a claim. To reiterate her point, she has also fixed a ringtone which sings ‘favourite grandchild calling’ whenever she calls.
As she is now eligible to get a driving licence, I have yet again volunteered to become her driving instructor as it gives me a chance to enjoy more of her magnetic personality. An intelligent child, she has picked up driving quickly, and I shall be sad once the lessons end. I have to concede that she is truly my favourite!
(The writer, a former Chandigarh resident, is now based in Canada)
