Random Forays | Agreeing to disagree: It’s all about timing

Adopting an ‘agreeing to disagree’ stance usually resolves most impasses but at times it also sorts out matters of mutual convenience; organisational stresses and strains begin to show up blatantly when narrow-minded goals tend to slow down processes and long-term interests.

Having played a fairly long innings myself, I can safely say that to have the emotional intelligence to not put one’s foot down (at most times) is the key to happy success. There are many occasions when one wants to drive home a point and an idea despite obvious scepticism by those around, but one has to realise that the idea in question would do well to wait, along with its owner, for the time to ripen a little more. Just as a mango must be eaten on the day when it is absolutely in its prime, not a day before, and not a day after, a viewpoint must be presented by its proponent only when it is likely to be acceptable on the whole.

Adopting an ‘agreeing to disagree’ stance usually resolves most impasses but at times it also sorts out matters of mutual convenience. (Shutterstock)

This is not to say that one must wait for total consensus before moving forward with a new initiative or before pushing one’s views forward. There is never an ideal scenario in real life to make a move. The tiger must leap when it is most likely to nab the prey, and if it fails, so be it. By being aware of the risk involved and not pretending that nothing can go wrong, one is more likely to succeed with a new initiative than by waiting for too long.

An organisation like the government can be quite unforgiving if one thrusts forward a proposal whose time has perhaps not come. Not because the conditions are not right, but because people who matter in the government don’t think so. Ego issues might also hinder the progress of a new initiative simply because the approver is not particularly fond of the proposer!

But at times, when the shoe is on the other foot, and when one finds oneself in a position of power, it is incumbent upon one to give due weightage to all viewpoints before accepting or rejecting a proposal. By forthrightly disagreeing with a newbie’s ‘outlandish’ idea because the youngster’s hairstyle (an unconnected aspect) is quite wild, the boss might lose out on an outstanding opportunity for the organisation.

At times, it is routine decision making which suffers through such an approach. A promotion or an incentive which is rightfully due to a dedicated employee might be held up simply because two powerful honchos do not see eye to eye. Perhaps one of them wants to push forward the case of his or her own protege and insists on holding back the rightful claimant’s due, to gain a foothold for that dear one.

Adopting an ‘agreeing to disagree’ stance usually resolves most impasses but at times it also sorts out matters of mutual convenience. Organisational stresses and strains begin to show up blatantly when narrow-minded goals tend to slow down processes and long-term interests. People with vested interests who are vested with veto powers are the most dangerous!

A case in point could be the selection of a cricket or soccer team. If two selectors decide to push forward the case of their own favourites, even though they might be quite brilliant, they are not likely to agree to the other’s pet receiving the nod unless their own player is included as well. Many a cricket follower would recall the zonal system of selection of the senior men’s team and certain players unable to play for India simply because their zonal quota was perennially exhausted before their names could be considered.

At home, too, seasoned dads often come to the conclusion that it is better to stay mum and not demand something inordinately from ‘mum’ for she is bound to disagree. Only when the mood, the conditions, the time, the weather and the situation are absolutely in perfect order should one try to obtain the acquiescence of the better half to something potentially contentious! Of course, being a balanced writer, I must propose the same strategy for the beautiful half to adopt when the hubby behaves obstinately, although such occasions become rarer as the years roll by!

Some things never change, they say. And human beings will always remain temperamental after all. In order to convince a loved one, patience is the key. It’s all about waiting for an opportune moment!

vivek.atray@gmail.com