Witerati | Dinner Depp-lomacy

The 48-lakh lavish Johnny Depp dinner may have done globally for Indian cuisine what a Sabyasachi does for Indian couture at Cannes.

Riding an astronomical price tag of ₹48 lakh, Indian cuisine has again had its global day out on Twitterverse, for better or for purse.

Actor Johnny Depp, who was recently awarded $15 million by a court in the defamation case against former wife Amber Heard, was seen celebrating at an Indian restaurant in UK’s Birmingham. (ANI)

When it comes to hogging the proverbial fifteen minutes of fame on Twitterverse, there are two sure-shot recipes that India can bank upon. Couture and cuisine.

What a Sabyasachi can do on global red carpets for India’s couture, Sheekh Kebab or Shahi Lamb Karahi do for its cuisine.

What a Sandeep Khosla-Abu Jaani ‘Cannes’ do at the French Riviera, an Okra Masala or Kasturi Chicken Tikka doth do at Birmingham.

Of Plates of the Caribbean

When Pirates of the Caribbean star Johnny Depp and his score of cronies recently splurged at Indian eatery, Varanasi, in Birmingham, they not only gifted a fortune to the NRI restaurateur, but also a tongue-twister of a menu list to us poor Tweeple to master.

As if Tharoorisms aren’t enough food for thought to exercise our vocabulary, the Depp dine ‘n’ wine has left us Tweeple to grapple with more of recipe names flowery. From Himalaya mustard crushed potato to black stone flower heeran to pickled okra masala, our poor vocabulary and pronunciations may put us in a pickle.

With its £500 gem of a cocktail crafted with a 24-carat gold leaf topping, Jewel of Varanasi, the Depp dine ‘n’ wine list reads nothing short of an epicurean equivalent of a Booker long list.

The curious case of all that guzzles is gold.

Being in a pickle over frilly Depp dinner nomenclatures is no mere trifle. Given the fact that Tweeple barely recovered from mastering the Platinum Pudding Short List. Thankfully, for a nation that dishes out tongue-twisting Tharoorisms to ticklers of translations (’fal ooda’ as meaning fruit fly), Shabnam Russo’s Mumbai recipe, rose falooda cake, was, surprisingly, the least of a pronunciation challenge on the platinum pudding short list that read like a gastronomic encyclopedia. Passionfruit and thyme frangipane tart to jubilee bundt cake with dubonnet jam, to four nations’ pudding crafted from Scottish berries to Yorkshire rhubarb, Irish butter cream to Welsh cakes.

Of Princes & Poppadums

That Indian cuisine manages to have its global day out in the darkest days is definitely no cakewalk.

The pandemic had spelt #StayHome for much of Indian life, lock stock and apparel, but not as much for desi khana khazana riding videshi.

Even in corona’s throes, Twitterverse tickled into a tizzy over a takeaway travelling from an Indian eatery to Britain’s Prince William’s palatial high table. The Prince’s poppadums ‘n’ pints in the pandemic put India on the Twitterverse trending radar earlier, too.

The Prince’s pampering his palate in pandemic’s peak with samosas and mango chutney had spelt for our humble streetside “sams” another peak. Pedestal-isation.

The Prince’s penchant for his pizza to be baked with Indian curry topping gifted fresh frills to the fashioning of fusion food. Pizza’s new twist and Twitter tryst.

Which brings us to the two tribes of Tweeple not to be treated as trifles.

First, those who eat to tweet.

These are Tweeple driven as much by a love for a designer sizzler to sushi plate, as by a love for status update.

Second, those whose life is more of eat ‘n’ neat, less of tweet.

These are Tweeple given to gorging on a gastronomic treat and a peg neat, with scant thought for things tweet.

The Curious Case of My Big Fat Leek Pudding.

chetnakeer@yahoo.com