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Finding the true purpose of life is the secret to its success
When a publishing house reached out to GurgaonMoms to host a book reading session with the author of Ikigai: The Japanese Secret to a Long and Happy Life, the organising
When a publishing house reached out to GurgaonMoms to host a book reading session with the author of Ikigai: The Japanese Secret to a Long and Happy Life, the organising team was thrilled, to say the least. However, it was immediately followed by doubts: How many of the members will be interested in finding their ikigai (purpose)? Will they make an effort to take time out and seek more information on this topic? We were in for a pleasant surprise. We were forced to change to a bigger venue to accommodate the number of people who showed interest. We received interest from more than 400 members.
But why were we surprised? For ages, we women have been conditioned to help everyone else find their “ikigai” and support family members in achieving their ikigai. Finding or following our own purpose was and is still seen as selfish, careless and unimportant. How many times have we been reminded of our responsibility as a mother or a wife when we have indulged in our interests, hobbies and passions, or pursued our career?
I remember as a young mom, I became so passionate about raising my child that I forgot about my own goals. I was more than happy as I kept seeing my child reach newer milestones and see him acquire a new skill or say a few new words. This happiness slowly was turning me into an aggressive mom who wanted my son to excel in everything or be the best in his class. Although I was reading enough parenting materials to make me understand that it was not healthy, at a subconscious level I couldn’t stop myself. Life is about small achievements and I realised that I have started living my life through this little thing I have brought to this world. This was neither fair to him nor me. This is why raising our children or supporting the family cannot become a woman’s purpose.
“We forget to give us an appointment with ourselves. When was the last time you went on a coffee date with yourself?” asked Francesc Miralles at the book reading event. Whether one is a stay-at-home mom by choice or someone who is employed or running her venture, finding and pursuing a passion is extremely important.
Ikigai is not about finding happiness instantly. It’s about a life practice towards fulfilment. It is about making the best version of you available to the world. To achieve our fullest potential, it is important to discover your personal mission. The book recommends finding one’s ikigai by trying to answer the following questions:
• What do I love?
• What am I good at?
• What can I be paid for?
• What does the world need?
Answers to these questions are hidden deep inside us and require a patient search. Most of us especially women are tuned to ask others to validate our dreams. It is important that we consciously break out of this temptation and answer these for ourselves. However, discussing it with a friend or mentor can help. The book highlights how finding and pursuing one’s passion will also aid in leading a healthier lifestyle and contribute to a longer, happier and better life. There is an emphasis on how it’s important to always be busy. However, don’t be swayed by tasks that are urgent and focus on what’s important (I personally struggle with this!).
To me, ikigai is whatever fills me with that energy to do the famous Hollywood couch jump that Tom Cruise did. Ikigai is about living in the now and taking control of my life. Ikigai is to acknowledge that life is not static and finding the meaning of being in the flow. We have just started the New Year. It may not be too late to see if our New Year goals are in sync with our ikigai that will help us live our life more passionately and fully. Best Wishes!
