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Witerati: Royal birth to Kate’s girth, for what it’s worth

The Brits may have sparked trolling ‘Stockholm Syndrome’ style over the royal baby and his name, but Indian trolls are better at the naming meme.

columns Updated: Apr 28, 2018 20:43 IST
Chetna Keer
Chetna Keer
Hindustan Times
Britain’s Prince William, Duke of Cambridge and Britain’s Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge aka Kate Middleton show their newly-born son, their third child, to the media outside the Lindo Wing at St Mary’s Hospital in central London on April 23.(AFP File Photo)

That the world has fixation for royalty is old hat. When Britain’s royalty got ‘thrice blessed’ with an heir fifth in line to the throne, Twitterati, naturally, were second to none bestirring hysteria across cyberia.

British Royalty can do to Twitterverse what Trump or Theresa Mary May may not be able to – uniting Tweeple in hysteria cutting across ‘party’ lines. ‘Party’ lines here being in the spirit of ‘eat drink and be merry’ jollifications or its customisations — ‘eat, drink and be Harry’, relatively speaking, or ‘tweet, drink and be Mary’, politically speaking.

For better or curse, at the opposite end of the hysteria were frenzied voices of sanity — polite name for party poopers — who uncorked upon Tweeple their brand of sobriety-ism by the name of ‘Stockholm Syndrome’.

Whether it’s Tweeple going gaga over the baby or critics cacophonously crazy parading parodies, the bottomline is — love them or abhor them, you can’t ignore #RoyalBaby, #RoyalBabyName, etc.

But when it comes to breaking Twitter over baby name, Indians beat the Brits at their own game, errr meme.

Stockholm Syndrome

That the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge’s third baby shares his birthday with the Bard imbued immense import to William Shakespeare’s words, “What’s in a name …?”

When the Shakespearean speculation over the newborn’s nomenclature ended, with a scramble for fresh hashtags and gags, #PrinceLouis merrily overtook #RoyalBabyNameOdds. Prince Louis Arthur Charles arrived on Twitter, Stockholm Syndrome be damned.

Twitter trilled into a tizzy again, parodying the Queen: “Look, I know it’s a bit strange naming the #RoyalBaby after well-known paedophile Louis Mountbatten. But Louis was such a roll model for Charles, we just had to!”

If Britain boasts of royalty, can Indians be far behind? Bollywood be blessed. We can brag of our Indian edition of hysteria over a baby name: #TaimurAliKhan.

Nobody breaks Twitter better than Indian trolls when it comes to baby name. While Prince Louis only invited memes of the Mountbatten kind, Saifeena progeny Taimur made history by turning topsy turvy history, his name’s memes perhaps bestirring in their graves not only Mongol Timur, but even Hitler, Aurangzeb & Co.

A classic case of the Brits playing safe than sorry, but Indians doing it better by being Saif than sorry.

Mock Mom Syndrome

Not only did the royal birth throw up the Stockholm Syndrome, it also tossed a phenomenon that could be called its lyrical cousin, ‘Mock Mom Syndrome’. Viral footage of Kate Middleton preening publicly within hours of childbirth – minus hangover of ‘labour’, as fresh as a daisy as if she were primping on the red carpet, not a hospital’s pebbled pathway – propelled much of British mommy-hood into regurgitating mock.

Even when it comes to the Mock Mom Syndrome, the Indians do it better. Remember Aishwarya Rai inviting mock worse for factors converse – piling on the pounds post childbirth? While the Brits spew mock ‘meme a dozen’ at mommy-hood size zero and lean, motherhood’s zero girth control is what drives Indian trolls ‘virtually’ mean.

Shashi-Meme Syndrome

Last but not least, the Brits may boast of Stockholm Syndrome and Queen’s English. But Indians have something even Brits don’t — Shashism for ‘Stockholm Syndrome’!

Stockholm Syndrome in Queen’s English is ‘a psychological phenomenon in which hostages express empathy and have positive feelings towards their captors...’

Our Shashism for Stockholm Syndrome, which could spell an upgrade for the Queen in English, is: ‘A subliminal situation that sees distasteful detainee-hood emitting emotions suffused with subterranean currents of camaraderie and chaddi-buddy-ship towards proponents of insidious incarceration…’

(Disclaimer: Any resemblance to royal fixation, zeal or overzeal, is purely incidental!)

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Views expressed are personal

First Published: Apr 28, 2018 20:42 IST