Exclusive! Delhi CM Rekha Gupta: Every female politician should get a wife

In this Women's Day conversation with Medha Shri Dahiya, CM Rekha Gupta reflects on the intense scrutiny and invisible labour that burdens women leaders.

There is a moment during our conversation when Delhi Chief Minister Rekha Gupta pauses, smiles, and delivers a line that perfectly captures the paradox of women in leadership roles.

CM Rekha Gupta, "I feel women leaders have an inbuilt sensitivity and are empathetic. Our strength is unmatched." | Photo Raaajessh Kashyap

“Har woman politician ki bhi ek wife honi chahiye… Every woman politician should get a wife jo uska dhyan rakh sake, ghar ka, kids ka relatives ka... Men only have to focus on their jobs, for all other ‘home duties’, they have a wife,” she says, as we sit down for our Women’s Day special.

Much like Judy Brady’s satire, I Want a Wife, Gupta highlights the invisible labour expected of women even at the highest levels of leadership. “You could be a CEO, CM, running a country or the world, they don’t get to be just professionals. They remain caregivers, planners, and emotional anchors at home,” says 51-year-old Gupta.

So, you still have to manage relatives and the home? “Yes. I am also just a woman. And I enjoy it, too,” she says.

“I have shared this incident earlier, on the day we were going for my oath-taking ceremony, my husband asked me, ‘What do I wear, yeh toh batao.’ Women have also internalized it,” says Gupta, who has completed a year as Delhi’s Chief Minister.

“But now I am running the entire day, so I have told my family that they need to make all the decisions at home on their own because I have a never-ending list of things I need to accomplish for Delhi everyday,” she says calmly, even as she finds time for this engaging conversation in between launching schemes and meetings.

Is it frustrating? “Not frustrating, as I said, a wife would be helpful (laughs). I feel women leaders have an inbuilt sensitivity and are empathetic. Our strength is unmatched. But I also work with the awareness that many other women leaders or potential ones will be judged by how I deliver. I want to do the best so people believe that women leaders are highly effective,” says Rekha Gupta, one of the only two female CMs currently serving.

Here's when it gets frustrating

Frustration does creep in, though. “Sometimes people say such offensive things ki lagta hai akal thikane laga do, but then you remember the chair you occupy and the decorum of the office you hold. So, I practice an unearthly amount of patience," says Gupta, pointing out, “Have you observed that women are also expected to be more humble?”

“So, I smile and get back to doing my job. For instance, koi koi keh deta hai ki aap ne kya kiya 365 days mei… And these are those people who were at the helm of affairs for 11 years, 15 years. I would say that comparing our work with what you all did during that time period would show you how far we have come. But then I prefer to let my work speak for itself. And the only purpose of my life right now is to serve the people of Delhi. To solve their issues,” she says.

The intense scrutiny

How does she manage the relentless pace of governing Delhi and the intense scrutiny that comes with it? “Yeh toh meri field hai, I chose this life. I have been doing this since my college days. It brings me immense joy and satisfaction to serve people. It is an honour to serve Delhi,” says two-times Delhi University Students’ Union (DUSU) president (1996 and ’97).

Shadi kaun karega leader ladki se

She recalls, “Back then, when I was approached to contest DUSU election by ABVP, my father was very supportive. But my mother was worried. She said, ‘Baniyo ke bache kab se politics karne lage?" she laughs.

“And another of her worry was, ‘Shadi kaun karega leader ladki se..’ But my father said that I should be allowed to pursue my dreams. After that, my family stood behind me like a pillar,” shares Gupta, graduate of Delhi University's Daulat Ram College.

So was it difficult to get a matrimonial match? “Ours is an arranged marriage. When the time came, a family with the Sangh (RSS) background was sought considering my career aspirations. I am lucky my families are very supportive. I’ve contested six elections after marriage. And it wouldn't have been possible without their support,” says Gupta, who has a son and a daughter.

So what are some conversations that women are having with the CM that go beyond policy and point to a need for a deeper societal change? “There are many. But one thing that stings the most is that even today, women face domestic violence,” she says pensively.

"I want every woman to be financially independent. That’s my advice to all women — earn your own money, be confident, live with dignity,” she says. Gupta adds that the government has launched several initiatives aimed at helping women build economic independence. “We recently launched the Lakhpati Bitiya Yojana to empower young girls and help them complete their education. Our hope is that they become so empowered that they create opportunities for others as well.”

"My daughter is the first girl in the family to have studied abroad," CM Rekha Gupta. | Photo Raajessh Kashyap

‘Bete ko Samjhao’

But Gupta believes empowering women alone is not enough. Real change will come only when boys are raised differently. “You know, we started with Beti Bachao, then Beti Padhao, ab Beti Badhao bhi aa gaya… lekin ab saath mein ‘bete ko samjhao’ bhi hona chahiye,” she says. “Teach your sons to support women and teach them about gender equality. We need to sensitise them.”

At home, she tries to instill the same values in her own children. “My daughter is the first girl in the family to have studied abroad. When she expressed the desire to study in Australia, I stood beside her. My son is the opposite. He wants to stay at home. I pushed him to work hard and crack the engineering exam because that's what he wanted to do. No sifarish, he cracked the exam and now he is studying in Vellore. He is learning to live an independent life,” she smiles giving us a glimpse of the person behind the titles such as Chief Minister.

True Dilliwali

However, the person who walks the corridors of power, juggling expectations of millions, is also a true Delhiite at heart. Here are some quick questions to support the case:
How do you start your day?

I take a stroll in the garden. I tend to plants and feed all the lovely parrots and birds that visit us. Oh! we have two peacocks too. Then I dedicate two hours to reading: newspapers, books, notes and prepare for the days ahead.

If you were to have an off day, what would you do?

I haven't had an off day in the past 365 days. Whenever I'll get one, I'll watch films with my family at a theatre. I love watching films! I'll also go shopping.

What was the last film you watched?

So, my kids and all watched Dhurandhar at a cinema hall. I waited for it to release on streaming platforms. Jaise hi ayi, I watched it that night!

You said you love to shop. What?

Sarees!

Are you a foodie?

Yes! I love home-cooked rajma-chawal and kadhi-chawal.

Who is the tougher critic — your inner critic or the opposition?

Definitely inner critic! I have very high standards of how I want work done and I keep raising that bar. My inner critic is always telling me that I can improve. Opposition ka kya hi hai…