Did you become a curfew cliché?
A global stereotype of lockdown life is slowly emerging. But how much of it fits you?Updated: Jun 07, 2020 06:31 IST
Depending on where you are, you’re probably emerging from months indoors or hoping to. And you’ve probably been doing the same things as everyone else
to cope. A global stereotype of lockdown life is slowly emerging. But how much of it fits you? Ten points for each statement that holds true:
- You waited for bananas to turn ripe so you could bake banana bread.
- You wondered if you should attempt sourdough bread.
- You wore formals from the waist up
for a Zoom call with the office or with
- You joined or hosted an InstaLive. It was easier than you imagined.
- You used Netflix and other streaming accounts so often you got to know their recommendations by heart. And you resisted watching Friends or The Big Bang Theory again.
- You caved and were on Season 3 before you realised it.
- You mastered at least one at-home exercise: yoga, Zumba, or some form of aerobics.
- You filled a virtual shopping cart, knowing that the site wasn’t delivering, just to feel normal.
- Your work bag, handbag or office backpack, usually in sight on a table or shelf, was stowed in a cupboard.
- You finally figured out what podcasts are.
- You called a friend or family member for help with the cooking. Should I add chaat masala if there’s no aamchur? Can I bake with glazed ceramic? Why is the pressure cooker hissing?
- You started to use teaspoons mindfully. Because 15 of them can pile up in the sink from just making a cup of coffee, if you’re not careful.
- You wondered which day of the week it was. It was always Wednesday or Thursday.
- You lied to a colleague or client about being busy, so you could sneak in a nap.
- You judged a celebrity by his kitchen, an academic by her bookshelf and a stand-up comic by the living room in the background of their posts and videos.
- You were on at least one WhatsApp group discussing which day the market was open, if mushrooms were in stock, and who was delivering mangoes.
- You coughed once and spent the day googling Covid symptoms and mentally writing your will. It was just the dust.
- You played the Guess The Gibberish game on Instagram, but were terrible at it so you didn’t share your video.
- You had one friend who became an overnight expert on urban epidemiology, doubling rates in Lombardi, PPE vs N95. Conversations were either depressing or just dull.
- You have a friend who always worked from home, and watched smugly as everyone adjusted to isolation. You plan to slap them as soon as you meet.
- 10-70: Are you in the same lockdown as us? How have you managed to avoid the stereotype? What’s your secret?
- 80-130: You’re doing all right. See you on the other side.
- 140-200: When they write a social history of the pandemic, it’s you they will interview. Keep a diary if you aren’t already; you stand for us all, even when you’re napping.