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Balancing both ends

Dr Jitendra Nagpal on love, relationships and life...Read on to know if solves your problem.

india Updated: Aug 27, 2008 17:17 IST

I am 26-year-old and have a high profile career in the advertising industry. Last year I got married to my boyfriend whom I have known since childhood. My job requires longer hours and I travel at least twice a month. Ever since marriage he started making disparaging comments about my job. Please help me strike the right balance between work and marriage and help reduce my stress.

Young people are working harder, longer hours and still trying to manage their lives. However, as one dedicates more time to the jet age jobs, personal lives begin to suffer. It is paramount to create a healthy work/life balance in order to remain focussed on the job as well as feel the contentment at home.

Dealing with your stress can only start when you recognise that the pressures in your life are reaching hard times. The relationship strife can turn more intense when the partners take the stress out at each other. While your husband must learn to appreciate that your work means a lot to you, on your part efforts to balance must be visible.

One of the first casualties of over-stretching yourself is usually your personal time — you lose those valuable moments that allow you to rejuvenate. Needless to say that before unhealthy stress takes toll, reflect on ways to enhance your time management skills.

Your objective should be to balance home, work and leisure effectively in order to find space for yourself. The downside of not finding this balance is that you reach the point of fatigue when you cease to live life optimally. Heed the warning signals. Change your perception of the situation by altering your routines and slowing down a bit, enhancing your communication and well being methods viz. exercise, diet and sleep. This means adopting newer skills for a better meaningful life of marital happiness.

I am a single working mother. My son is 6-years-old and studying in third standard. I separated from my husband even before my son was born. Things have been alright with the boy both at home and school. But he does miss a father figure and keeps asking about him. Will this affect his life in the adolescent years ahead? How can I help him?

Indeed you have dealt with a lot in your life and must have done your best to provide supportive nurturing to your child. Mother child bonding is best built on a stable foundation of trust, patience and communication and this will carry over into his overall development ahead. You do have a difficulty here.

The absence of a father figure does concern a child. But as you move on do keep working on his self-esteem and gently bringing him close to his truth. A friendly, responsible male member of the family like grandfather, uncle or a friend can be mobilised as a father figure. As a single parent you need to keep your connectivity high with your son.

Your unconditional positive regard with acceptance and participation in his enjoyable activities will go miles ahead. Of course do encourage him to have effective peer group to bring out the best in him in all diverse learning and extra curricular interests.

It will be of great help in seeking assistance from the school to have role models in teachers he can look up to. Life is a lot to do with graceful acceptance of different realities preparing the young ones for these realities is the true legacy of education at home and at school. Isn’t it?