Double figures, double the fun?

This week Dr Saumya Balsari does a double check on the multiple connotations of Virgin Atlantic's double beds in the sky.

Virgin Airlines was going to offer double beds on board its planes, announced Mr S looking up from his newspaper. Auntyji was delighted. "We must fly Virgin from now on to Delhi," she said. "I am fed up of sitting next to bawling babies and wheezing pensioners, fat people, tall people, leaning people, snoring people. I am fed up of being squashed in the middle seats next to the banging toilet doors."

"It is Richard Branson's idea of giving passengers a chance to get closer together," explained Mr S.

"Good, then Munni and Pappu and Bunty could also snuggle in with us, and I could tell them a bedtime story," said Auntyji.

"Closer means er … cuddling up. Things could get intimate," said Mr S dryly. Auntyji did a double take.

"Well, it’s not such a bad idea, is it? It’s not like anyone’s doing anything wrong, it’s not like parking on double yellow lines," said Mr S mildly. Auntyji muttered something about Mr S’ double standards and doublespeak.

"You’ll be glad to know that Ann Widdecombe, former shadow home secretary, is just as indignant as you are. She has told the newspapers that this is unnecessary and unfortunate. She has said that there is an immense issue of public decency here because there are other passengers who will not wish to see or hear such things," reported Mr S. "I think any passenger who does see, would have double vision," he said, smiling at his own wit.

Auntyji’s double chin fluttered rapidly in reproach.

"Do you know what Mr Branson said? That the airline gets a lot of honeymoon couples who fly on Virgin, and a lot of couples who have been together for many years. He says there is no reason why they shouldn't cuddle up on board like they would at home." Mr S was wistful as he read from the newspaper.

Marriages were made in heaven, said Auntyji firmly, not on airbeds.