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Is divorce the answer?

I am compatible with my husband, we make each other laugh and enjoy family activities with our daughter. However, my husband is abusive that spoils things at times. Is all this normal?

india Updated: Jan 13, 2006 14:20 IST
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Is divorce the answer?

1.
I am quite satisfied with my life. I am compatible with my husband, we make each other laugh and enjoy family activities with our daughter. However, my husband is abusive, both mentally and physically (sound clichéd) and my life is miserable due to this. Is all this normal in a relationship? He is so moody. One day he will be frustrated and will treat me badly to the hilt. We fight like this after every two days in front of my daughter. My husband cannot control his anger. Is it time to file for a divorce despite our good times and look out for a healthy relationship or should we stick it through for our daughter and keep trucking like I have been for five years? I know a divorce would be so tough on my daughter but I just can't see giving her brother or sister with this man. I have advised marriage counselling but my hubby says it doesn't work. I do love my husband very much so please help me out!

Mary

Troubled with anal lump

2.
I am 31-years-old. I am worried about a lump that I have close to my anus (rectum) for about five months now. It has usually been a painless lump, which has subsided from its initial size. But, it has slightly opened up at two places, and a sticky blood like fluid comes out of it. It stains my underwear and sometimes gets very uncomfortable. I have no problem in my stools. Is this hemorrhoid or a genital wart? I have not consulted a doctor and I am worried to death. It just doesn't go away. Please help.

Anonymous

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'I want to confess a dark secret...'

1.
I am a 26-year-old married man with one-year-old daughter. A gay man sexually abused me as a child. When I grew up I had sexual relationships with other men too. Now, I am a married man with a family and don't have any kind of relation with men but my past still haunts me. Sometimes, I feel that I am not attracted towards girls and only like boys. I am happily married and scared to go for therapy sessions because I fear the psychologist might ask me to become a full time gay and quit marriage. But, I am fully committed to my wife and child and want to become a full time heterosexual. It's one big dark secret of my life. Please guide me.

Haider

Reply From Dr. Prem Lata Chawla:
You seem to have sorted out the biggest dilemma of your life by your commitment to your wife and child. Whatever has happened in the past has happened and it can be conveniently forgotten. You can overcome your attraction towards boys with conscious effort, a small sacrifice, for the sake of your family's happiness.

 

Wife wants sex only for kids?

2.
I have been married from past one year. My wife is quite religious and because of this she wants to have sex only to have kids. But, we are not in a situation to plan kids. I am quite keen on having sex with her but am unable to. We both are suffering because of her religious nature. We both love each other very much and I don't want to leave her and at the same time I want to have sex with her also. I tried everything last one year from patience to love and care, including getting permission from her Guru but wife is dead against sex. What should we do?

Rag

Reply From Dr. Prem Lata Chawla:
Your marriage is in shambles because of a Guru - who seems to be a big fraud. All Indian Gurus respect 'Grahistha Ashram' and sex is an integral part of it. Your wife wants to be a 'Brahmacharini' then she should first of all not have got married or should opt out of it now. Your wife is welcome to her attitude towards sex but you need not be a party to it.

 

First Published: Jan 13, 2006 14:20 IST