Love behind closed doors
Confessing of having an extra-marital affair does not mean one can get rid of guilt.india Updated: Jan 31, 2010 01:23 IST
Several couples at some point or the other have relationship outside their marriage. Most of them are hidden and secret, stirring gamut of emotions, and one of them is GUILT. HT City spoke to a few Delhiites, who confessed feeling guilty and others who defended themselves.
The moment of truth
Businessman Shailendra Kewalramani is married for four years, and confesses that he shares the most blissful moments and agonies with his ladylove and not his wife. “My wife and I lack bonding. I found the completeness that I always longed for, only after I met my ladylove.” Shailendra denies suffering from guilt pangs for cheating his wife, and says, “Guilt would have been there only if I had any feelings for my wife.”
Shailendra’s was an arranged marriage, but Renuka (name changed), who had a love marriage got emotionally involved with another man. Reason? No emotional bonding and her husband’s touring job that gradually drew her towards another man. “I respect my husband. He is good and I care for him, but somehow the love and spark has vanished. We don’t quarrel over anything and are fine with whatever the other person does.” Renuka shares every bit with this other friend she has found. “I get all the emotional support from him,” says Renuka, who at times feel being at fault for having a relationship outside marriage.
Psychiatrist Sanjay Chugh says, “Spouses who tell their partners about their flings are guilty and plead transparency. People may have a reason to get into extramarital relationships, but they cannot achieve anything by revealing the truth.”
Deepak Dhawan has found a good friend in his wife, but his soulmate is someone else. He says, “My wife is supportive, but there’s no sex life. I do feel guilty, but this is how things have shaped up now.”