'I am wife of two brothers!'
1. I am from a traditional Hindu family. My husband has one younger brother. Both are working abroad but husband took six months vacation to stay back with me and after that his brother took six months off. Later my husband convinced his brother not to marry so he could share his brother's wife, that is, me! Now I am playing wife to two brothers and gave birth to two kids also. Both brothers are working and even investing for us. Now the question: Is this normal? Will it harm my health by having relations with two men? Is there any legal issue involved? Whenever I remind my men about the morality of this life, they say that we are leading a short life in this world and no other rules prohibit us to lead such a lifestyle. Please guide me.
'Thought of a girl excites me'
2. I am a 29-year-old boy. I have indulged too much in masturbation from my teen years and now I feel I am too weak to get married. I don't have any girlfriend. I am suffering from nightfall and premature ejaculation too. Just the feeling of a girl with me excites me so much that semen comes out. My problem is that I am going to be married soon but I am sure I will not be able to enjoy my married life because of sexual weakness. I want to get treated. Please tell me how to go about it.
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'Married life is falling apart'
1. For a long time now, I have had problems with my wife's lack of interest in sex. Our love life was great but now it is not. I have talked, complained and begged but nothing changes. She says that nothing is wrong with her but I don't agree. I am a good provider, loyal to her but I cannot take anymore. Her main interest seems to be talking on the phone and surfing the Web. Taking care of her husband looks like the last thing on her mind. I try to take her out so we can have some romantic time but she never wants to go anywhere or do anything. I work all day and listen to the married women in the office. They make arrangements to spend time alone with their husband. I have never had that from my wife and guess I never will. What do I do? How can we work on our relation?
Reply From Dr. Prem Lata Chawla: How long have you been married that your wife has forgotten about it? It is not expected from a well-informed, web surfing woman with a large number of friends. She would be well aware of the ultimate outcome of her behaviour. Situations like this usually need some counselling and the counselor need not always be a professional. A good friend or an impartial relative can also help. You also look around yourself and request some one trustworthy to talk to your wife. At least you should know why she is on a self-destruct run. The solutions would follow.
'Fear of non-performance is killing'
2. I am a 28-year-old married man living in the US. Over the past two years, I have seen a disturbing trend. My wife and I were having good sex for like 2-3 months and some day due to some reason or some weird thought, I lost erection. From there on, I always have this fear of losing erection and this anxiety eventually materializes my fear. Also, there's a struggle for a few months where we try hard to have sex. My wife being very understanding soothes me and asks me to relax and not get too anxious to get through the act. But it is difficult for me to get rid of the performance anxiety. The fear of non-performance is killing. There are chances of my wife feeling that she is not attractive anymore, which would complicate things. I have heard it is a common problem with men. Is it true? Is there any treatment or any specialist whom I can refer to in the US? Please guide.
Reply From Dr. Prem Lata Chawla: What you have is an erection failure after every few months. Instead of worrying about it why not take it in your stride as a common occurrence and forget about it. Occasional failures of this type can happen at any age although they tend to get more frequent after middle age. You should how ever see a doctor and get yourself investigated, as erectile failure can be a symptom of a few physical disorders. Once the diseases have been ruled out and you have discussed your problem with a sex specialist (psychiatrist or endocrinologist or urologist) you need not get in to bouts of anxiety which in turn causes more anxiety.
First Published: Aug 19, 2006 19:40 IST