Men bear the brunt, too | india | Hindustan Times
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Men bear the brunt, too

Our article, ‘From bed to worse’ elicited a number of responses, mainly from men. Their overwhelming view was that women should be held equally accountable for adultery. While one may not agree with all their arguments, we publish two typical responses to present the view from the other side. Read on...

india Updated: Dec 28, 2008 22:55 IST
Hindustan Times

'Point of view'

I’m writing this in the hope that men are also allowed to send in their views to this page.

Regardless of which partner is indulging in adultery, it leads to great tension in the family, and often to the total breakdown of the relationship.

While the other partner certainly suffers acute emotional trauma, children are the innocent and silent sufferers. Moreover, they grow up with confused moral values.

If we really believe in the institution of marriage, and morality, adultery must be treated as a crime.

Married women who indulge in adultery must be treated as equal partners in the crime and as such, be criminally tried and punished.

Ask those husbands whose wives indulge in adultery about how they feel, whether they are from urban or rural areas.

While the wife of an adulterous husband may get sympathy and emotional support from society, a similarly placed husband becomes the butt of jokes and ridicule.

Often the adulterous wife covers up her conduct by casting doubts about her husband’s virility or sexual orientation.

Because of children and financial constraints, many such husbands avoid going for divorce and, therefore, suffer in silence.

One only has to look at the number of women who are undergoing their terms in jails for having got their husbands murdered with the help of their paramours, to

understand the lengths to which they can go to carry on their illicit affairs.

Women already have anti-dowry and domestic violence acts that are unfairly and heavily tilted in their favour.

If they want equality in all aspects of life, why are they desperately trying to hang on to a lopsided law?

Let us be fair to men.

Lt Col M S Kanwar (Retd)

'Wives take advantage

I am glad you have published such an article. It is high time that the Indian judiciary and law-makers shed their blinkers and look at this issue more realistically.

It is also time to amend the lopsided laws favouring women, as many innocent men are suffering at the hands of their wives who are taking undue advantage of unreasonable laws.

How can adultery be a one-sided affair? It is possible only with the indulgence and consent of the other woman/women.

Therefore, the woman involved in the adulterous relationship must also be punished.

How is it that the National Commission for Women ignores such serious issues and fights only against men?

Do they not realise what it means to the adulterous man’s wife and family?

The society we live in is based on certain rules (written and unwritten) and both sides need to adhere to them.

If the adulterous woman is not punished, the institution of marriage will crumble.