Surfer's article: Loneliness

Human has come a long way, today we have everything but still feel lonely, writes teacher and author Mukesh Setia, New Delhi.

Human has come a long way, has made progress in every field, from super fast computers and cars, space missions, to creams which take the wrinkles away, new and improved methods for everything! Technology has reached an all time high. These technological advancements have made life faster and easier.

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But are we happy?

Surprisingly the answer is no. No we are not happy, we are lonely.

Deep down we are lonely.

Walking in the middle of a road, life buzzing all around you, everyone in a tearing hurry, no one for you to hold on to, to listen to you, or to walk with you, you feel lonely.
Many might think that loneliness attacks the introverts and the detested, but this is a wrong perception. Remember loneliness is not a flaw. Loneliness can strike anyone, irrespective of age and profession.

Loneliness is painful. It is full of tension and stress. It leaves you in a state constant anxiety and it drives you crazy you feel traumatized. You start hating yourself and feel deprived.

People suffer from loneliness often because of the following reasons-

Ø An orphan or a child living with a single parent, or a child living far away from his family often suffers from loneliness. When such children see other children having a good time with their families, or hear other children's stories at school, they feel jealous and lonely, and miss their families.

Ø When you work hard and do not get the desired output, you start hating the nice and jovial people around you, perhaps because they are more successful, you misjudge them (mostly) and feel they are making fun of you.

Ø When we are away from family and friends, we feel completely cut off from our world and are unable to find a substitute for them because none exists. We start feeling lonely and are unable to enjoy the good things around us.

Ø People with some physical disability are more likely to be surrounded by loneliness. The major reason being that most people do not understand their special needs and tease them. Also some physically handicapped people have this wrong idea that people might not want to associate with them, or that they will be looked down on, and therefore they live in a shell.

What loneliness can do to you-?

Ø You lose interest in your work and your efficiency decreases.

Ø You will become too self-conscious. You will not be able to adjust yourself to work with others or under someone's leadership, and you won't be able to lead at the same time.

Ø You get angry without rhyme or reason and every so often criticise others too much, your frustration kills you.
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Ø People start avoiding you, and you feel desolated and unloved. Your aura has this negative energy and people prefer to maintain a distance from you. And become all the lonelier.

What you can do to fade out loneliness

Ø Do not wait for others to make the first move, be the first one to start a conversation or to say 'Hello.'

Ø Greet everyone you meet with a smile and wish them a good day!

Ø Talk to people, share and discuss ideas, make friends, and remember in friendship age and sex are not bars, its interesting to have friends from all age groups so that you are exposed to the various stages of life and different ideas and perspectives.

Ø Help others, it makes you feel good about yourself. Being of some help to others, like helping your mother around the house, your friends with studies and helping the weaker students in your class pull through, all are very satisfying and will make you feel good. These little things matter, and can work wonders for a lonely person. And who knows, maybe the person you are talking to, also is a victim of loneliness.

Ø Pen your thoughts, paint, painting can be a very relaxing, and of course, smile, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile!

Last but not the least, Life is a struggle but one has to enjoy it.

Mukesh Setia
Author of the bookBansuri The feelings
Director,AVTE INDIA Pvt. Ltd.
an educational institute
New Delhi
avte@vsnl.com