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Monday, Oct 21, 2019

What we want & don't of Sports

Wishlist from a swimsuit calendar filled with bare-bodied, sculpted footballers to an honest Tiger Woods, HT brings you a list of what we would like to see and what should never be in sport this year.

india Updated: Jan 05, 2011 01:56 IST
Jayanto and Abhimanyu, Sportsdesk
Jayanto and Abhimanyu, Sportsdesk
Hindustan Times

Wishlist from a swimsuit calendar filled with bare-bodied, sculpted footballers to an honest Tiger Woods, HT brings you a list of what we would like to see and what should never be in sport this year.



Testing times

Watching Team India going Waka, Waka after winning the Cape Town Test would be a great start. A series win there has always eluded us and nothing more ideal than that can switch on the New Year in style.

Assert supremacy
England, the T20 champs, have just thumped the Aussies. Darren Gough says they are the world's best. The WC is around the corner and so is a Test series in the Blighty. Let's smash them in both formats. Let's win the Cup, please!

Viv Richards's record of the fastest ton in Tests (off 56 balls) has stood for far too long now. Gilly missed it by a ball a few years ago. Sehwag has to be the man to demolish that.

Hair, there, everywhere
Ishant Sharma to get a crew cut for two reasons. One, to make sure his locks don't block his vision everytime he delivers and two, his head gets some fresh air and ideas.

Ricky to rock
Ricky Ponting could use his intensely emotive looks and play the lead in a Ram Gopal Verma film, aptly titled Ashes ki Aag. Both the men need a lifeline. What better way to salvage careers (and pride!) than through Bollywood, the Theatre of Dreams.

Back to roots
Ponting to retire to home state Tasmania and take up the task of rearing Tasmanian Devils, a carnivorous marsupial that abounds in the Australian island. Ponting can name one of them Straussie and keep spanking its bum.

Dr. Fix-it
What's the best way to catch fixers? Well, the Pakistan Cricket Board can look for detectives-cum-cricketers. Better still; make Mazhar Majeed (the English fixer) the chef-de-mission of the Pak Olympic contingent. They do need money and recognition.

No more
Off breaks, odd breaks
The idiot box flashing advertisements after every fifth delivery during matches. Imagine, Zak getting KP out and we miss it for Akshay Kumar jumping off the top floor to fetch a Thums Up. Somebody beat up the TV channel guys!

Sree set free
Wild boy Sreesanth, after picking a wicket, do a break dance on the pitch, damage it and get penalised! He is capable of pulling off anything but Dhoni's words may just about bottle up the unruly bowler.


Six-pack abs
Hoping to see Joseph Abraham, the 400m hurdler, without his shirt more often, displaying his taut abs. Maybe he should dance alongside Salman Khan, both shirtless, to show just how much fitter our athletes are compared to the Bollywood posers.

Continued dope-free success for our athletes so that Indian youth can look up to idols who are taking on and beating the world in disciplines that are globally competitive.

No more
Another comeback
We don't want long jumper Anju Bobby George to return after childbirth just to make up the numbers. Enough of those comebacks, we say.

Man? Or woman?
No more beards, please for some of our women athletes. It's a horror seeing once-lithe-and-pretty faces turn manly as soon as they graduate to the senior arena, with hormones and steroids flowing through the body.

It's one of the most under exploited sports in India in terms of it's reach and connect with the masses. Here's to hoping that some marketing wiz comes up with an inventive format to excite corporate interest in our traditional sport.

Babus & such
Hot sports calendar
A Sports Ministry calendar like the Kingfisher one, now that there are plenty of hot athletes. Oh yes, sports minister MS Gill can stay off, if it has to be a hit and not just hang in the boardrooms and babus' houses.

Be press savvy
Sports Federations want good press. They have no clue how to go about it. Professional media managers will go a long way in making it easier for them to get their message across.

No more
Ageing men to run sport
Another year in the lives of old sports administrators. Our apologies for being rude, but we can only vent for we can see no way to end their eras over their fiefdoms.

One world
No more squabbling, internecine jousts for power or ad-hoc committees. We want a single body to work in a transparent and efficient manner.

IOA, keep away
IOA bigwigs not to rule hockey by proxy and the players getting just rewards. Even a kid will know now that nothing's worse than seeing Kalmadi & Co running any Indian sport.

Looking beyond
Indian team winning a world-level title - not just tom-toming about the Azlan Shah they have been winning for the last two years. Come on, get some quality stuff in.

Look India
The FIH takes off its Euro-centric blinkers and realises that 50% of its revenue comes from India, and that it should work for the improvement of the game in the country.

No more
No Gill-joy
The Gill era returning to hockey would be a disease that hockey is better off without. Constant chopping and changing of teams and coaches, former players (legends) pawning their opinion for favours from administrators and then turning coat when given the boot.

Swimsuit calendar
Our top XI (from the current crop) - Fernando Torres, David Beckham, Cristiano Ronaldo, Iker Casillas, Antonio di Natale, Alexandre Pato, Carlos Vela, Cesc Fabregas, Steven Gerrard, Ibrahim Afellay, Rafael van der Vaart.
Coach: Jose Mourinho.

More women in football
Larissa Riquelme (Paraguay model) and Sara Carbonaro (Iker Casillas' girlfriend) lit up the World Cup. One of the reasons India should slot friendlies with Paraguay. So we can see more of Riquelme, though in the dusty maidans of Kolkata.

A married man
After flings with some of the hottest women, maybe C-Ron should walk down the aisle, and not the ramp, in Armani underwear. Not all men will agree, though.

No more
Hungry people
After his infamous 'Hand of God' save in the World Cup, Luis Suarez created waves by biting an Ajax teammate. He is one footballer who shouldn't be allowed to play at night. Beware the werewolf!

Ronaldo being himself
Ronaldo sneaking into ex-flame Paris Hilton's room after getting sloshed, chased by paparazzi, leaving the hotel with a cheeky look on his face, with another woman beside him the next day!

England favourites
England as favourites is what we don't want to hear again, for many more years to come! Perennial underachievers, the 'giants' are slotted to win every international tournament. Please, not again.



The real Tiger

Even if there is no letdown in Tiger Woods's off-the-turf escapades (and models and waitresses walking out of his closet)the former world No.1 needs to retort: "So what? Big deal!" Maybe it is time he stopped apologising and took on the media and critics with a full swing.

No more
Jeev's 'bogied' life
Jeev Milkha Singh's spate of injuries continuing. It caused him to slip from last season's top-50 to 168 in the World Golf Rankings. We want the dramatic slide arrested.

Get China
China won all the five gold medals at the 2010 world championship. A larger pool of players challenging their hold would do a world of good to the sport's mass appeal. And who better than Saina Nehwal?

Saina rising
She is within touching distance from the pole position and the country would want her to achieve that feat this year. Means more points, but, we'd still want her to win more against the Chinese!

More man
India's wait for a male shuttler to carry the mantle from Pullela Gopi Chand has reached breaking point and the onus will be on the young brigade of P Kashyap, Anand Pawar, RMV Guru Sai Dutt.

No more
Reverse gear
Saina was forced to eat her words immediately after criticising the CWG preparations. The player actually then toed the official line and backed off from what she had said on record. No about-turns please!

The other Jawala
The doubles star was in the news as much for her on-court triumph as her personal issues. She attracted a lot of Indians towards the sport and badminton does need that attention. However, we would rather have her perform on court.

Yet another Wang
Wangs occupied the top three slots in women's singles ranking - Xin, Shixian and Yihan. The fourth, Lin, won the 2010 world championship.

First Published: Jan 05, 2011 01:03 IST

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