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Reels, posts, sex ed. Talkin’ about a revolution
Orgasms, consent, self-pleasure, intimacy, creativity, even sex toys. India is opening up to sexual wellness online. See how three experts are driving the trend
Right now, somewhere in India, a young woman is getting her first period and is convinced she’s dying of some kind of cancer. In another part of the country, a bride is spending her first night with her husband, aghast and uncomfortable, in a decked-out hotel room, because the groom has no idea about woman’s pleasure; all he knows is what’s he’s seen in porn videos. Elsewhere, a well-educated woman, in a big city, is having unprotected sex because “buying a condom should be the man’s responsibility, na?”. And a shocking number of women (possibly a friend, colleague, family member, classmate) are going through adulthood, possibly even though a relationship, without having orgasmed even once.
Blame it all on: Prudish parents, no sex-ed in school, terrible examples from TV and the movies, even more misinformation on social media. It’s left generations of adult men and women ill-informed about sexual health, contraception and reproductive rights. And because there’s no conversation on the subject, the confusion compounds.
The Durex Global Sex Survey 2017 indicated that nearly 70% of Indian women do not have an orgasm every time they have sex. Luckily, things seem to be changing, especially on social media. Educators are putting up Reels about climaxing, offering step-by-step guides to masturbation and forms of birth control, and backing products designed to aid pleasure without guilt. According to a report published by Allied Market Research in 2022, the Indian sexual wellness market generated $1.15 billion in 2020 and was expected to reach $2.09 billion by 2030.
Leeza Mangaldas, Simran Balar Jain and Anushka Gupta open up about fighting the good fight, unmindful of the trolls, the mansplaining uncles and the grown-ups still giggling in the back.
Leeza Mangaldas, sexuality educator and author
The award-winning content creator from Goa has been posting Reels, videos and information about subjects as varied as penis sizes and using tampons, since 2018. She is also the author of The Sex Book: A Joyful Journey of Self-discovery, and founder of Leezu’s, an intimacy products brand. She has 920K followers on Instagram (@leezamangaldas)
Why is it important to talk openly about sex?
We’ve been conditioned to feel a lot of shame around sex and believe that only doctors or family- planning policymakers can talk about sex publicly. Unmarried people having sex, queer sexuality, women being assertive of their sexual preferences, sexual abuse, people seeking sexual health services or pleasure products, these are things that we should navigate easily and safely. But because of the taboo, they become unnecessarily difficult. Queer sex is also something that has been marginalised. I think a lot of people understand how harmful this is and are hungry for change.
How do people react to your posts?
The response has been overwhelmingly supportive. I do occasionally get comments that try to slut shame me. I also receive unsolicited advice from people who clearly have no sense of boundaries.
Interestingly, one topic that is very sensitive is masturbation, for both men and women. There’s a corner of the internet filled with men who fear that terrible things will happen if they masturbate (the science says masturbation offers better sleep and better mood, for all genders). Typically, these men seem unable to distinguish masturbation from compulsive porn consumption.
Many Indians lead sort of double lives where they pretend to have no interest or experience in understanding sexuality or pleasure in front of their family and community, while keeping their private life hidden.
How much wrong information is out there?
There are lotions and potions for increasing penis and breast size, when there is no way it can be permanently increased with a cream. Vaginal washes promise an intimate area that smells of roses, even though the vagina is a self-cleaning organ. Don’t even get me started on whitening creams for the genitals.
Why are sexual wellness products important?
I think that the act of self-pleasure, as well as utilising pleasure products, can add creative and liberating possibilities around understanding one’s own body. It can also make partnered experiences mutually pleasurable.
Our first products have been a dual-ended clitoral massager with suction and vibration functions, and an oil-based lubricant and massage oil. Pleasure products also enable conversations, not just about arousal and pleasure, but also around consent and boundaries.
Best comment ever
We sold out of our Pyaari massager within a week. Many men write in saying that they gifted it to their wife or girlfriend and that it brings them so much joy to see their partners experience such pleasure.
Simran Balar Jain, sex-ed content creator and co-founder of UnBound
The Bangalore-based content creator posts travel, lifestyle, menstrual hygiene and sex-education Reels to her 1.1 million followers on Instagram (@simranbalarjain). Her company, UnBound (set up along with her friend Sayyam Jain), makes products such as naughty charades and playing cards for couples.
What made you decide to work in sexual wellness?
I always loved being in front of the camera. But I realised that I had to do something different. One night with my girlfriends, we were talking about our sex lives. That’s when I realised how many misconceptions there are, and I thought, “If my own friends and family face this, how many other people must there be out there wondering the same things?” I made my first video, about breasts in 2020. It really took off. After that there was no stopping me.
The best thing about educating people about sex.
It helps break down taboos and myths surrounding sexuality, and empowers individuals to make informed decisions, prioritise their pleasure, and embrace their sexual identities. Plus, I get to meet new people.
For three years I was stuck at about 50K followers. As soon as I started making videos about sex education and women’s hygiene, things changed. Since Reels came about, I started growing at about 100K followers a month. I reached 500K in about three months; then it took me one and a half years to reach 1.1 million.
What about haters and trolls?
In my DMs every day, there’s at least one person reaching out and telling me how my videos have helped them. Communication is crucial in any sexual relationship. If that’s not clear, then nothing is clear.
Getting hate is part of the journey. Some days, when there are no mean comments, I wonder, “Is everything okay?!” I respond to comments and DMs myself; I don’t have a team yet. But I’ve been thick-skinned since the beginning. I just delete and move on. I’ve also placed filters on my Instagram comments for certain words. They get deleted before I see them.
How can men be part of the online sexual conversation?
It is essential for men to acknowledge the societal burden placed on them to conform to certain expectations regarding sex and masculinity. By engaging in open dialogue, asking questions, and actively participating in conversations, men can contribute to breaking down harmful stereotypes, promoting consent, and fostering healthy and respectful relationships.
Best comment ever
An individual told us how our party game and educational content had helped them reclaim their sexuality after years of feeling disconnected.
Anushka Gupta, co-founder, My Muse
The Bombay-based entrepreneur co-founded MyMuse, a sexual wellness brand, with her husband Sahil Gupta in 2020. Much of the business is about educating people. Their account, @mymuse.in has 53.8K followers, and posts about everything from blue balls and G spots to date night ideas and blended orgasms.
What made you decide to work in sexual wellness?
Growing up in typical Indian households, but with the benefit of international exposure, Sahil and I wondered why our culture has such a stigmatised view of sex, pleasure and our bodies. When we looked for sexual wellness products, none spoke to us.
We’ve been in the market for about two years and sell massagers for both men and women, lubricants, wipes, massage oils and products built for shared experiences, such as journals and card games. We have a strong Instagram and an email subscriber base of over 1 lakh people. Initially, it was consumers in big cities who bought the products. Now, over 20% of our audience is from small cities and towns order our items. Apart from the massagers, our card games and Couple’s Play Book sell well.
Why is it important to talk openly about sex?
It allows people to feel seen, heard, and above all, feel normal. The most frequently asked questions we get start with “Am I normal for…”, indicating that there’s a huge lack of open dialogue in people’s lives and relationships, leading them to feel that there is something wrong with them.
One hopeful trend that is growing.
Consumers of our products and content are 50% male, which represents the fact that men are becoming more aware and keener to understand different aspects of intimacy, and how to better pleasure their partners. We feel that we are heading towards an India where people are increasingly accepting and open towards new experiences and ways of thinking.
Best comment ever
A customer told us that with our products, his wife of 11 years had the best, most satisfying moments of their entire marriage.
