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Are you parenting your partner? Therapist drops truth bombs that we should be aware of
From reminding them of their responsibilities to letting them be financially immature, here are a few signs that we are parenting our partner.
In a relationship, two people create their own dynamics – the kind of relationship pattern that they are comfortable with. This is also based on the attachment style that they have. From avoidant attachment to anxious attachment, a partner can have any of the four types of attachment styles, or a combination of multiple ones. This further decides the behavioural patterns in the relationship. However, when we start to parent the partner and take care of them without them doing it for us, it can lead to a dip in emotional intimacy and connection. This can slowly turn frustrating. "Together we’ll go through a 4-step process to figure it out. How you and your partner are incompatible and if there are any deal breakers you might be ignoring? Whether your emotional connection is compromised and what you can do about it? Whether you’re trapped in a doomed dynamic that’s never going to go anywhere? If you have inner love blocks that sabotage your relationship without you knowing," wrote Relationship Coach Marlena Tillhon.
ALSO READ: Types of attachment styles: Therapist explains
Signs of parenting the partner
Reminding them: We are constantly reminding them of things that they need to take care of – from their responsibilities to their meetings.
Paying for them: Paying bills for them and allowing them to be financially immature is a toxic pattern in a relationship.
Walking on eggshells: We constantly walk on eggshells around them because we cannot predict their mood and do not want to overwhelm them.
Not sharing needs or feelings: We think that they will not be able to understand how we are feeling, hence we try to stop ourselves from sharing our needs and feelings.
Harsh reality we need to know
Enabling immaturity: By doing so, we enable the partner to be immature and cement our position of being a parent and someone who is constantly sacrificing our needs.
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