‘Cuffing season’ tempting you? Therapist warns why you should be careful with impulsive right swipes, rushed dates

Cuffing season is the time around winter, when people's desire for companionship peaks, making their dating behaviours more unpredictable.

Are you humming to SZA's ‘Big Boys’ song, belting out ‘It’s cuffing season and I need a big boy…' and wondering why this suddenly pops into your mind the way Mariah Carey's All I Want for Christmas Is You does every December. It's not your mental pop star changing soundtrack in mind; the cold season itself is responsible for altered dating behaviour. Ever noticed how right swipes on dating apps are easier in the winter months?

These changes allude to cuffing season, the time of the year, generally during the winter months, when people look to pair up and settle into a short-term relationship. All their guards drop, making even the most cautious daters turn casual.

Why does this happen? To understand cuffing season's impact on dating behaviour, HT Lifestyle spoke to Deepti Chandy, COO and therapist at Anna Chandy & Associates, who explained that indeed the longing for that special ‘someone’ increases. This longing may drive impulsive behaviour, including less picky and impulsive swipes.

She also unpacked the psychological mechanisms driving this behaviour, the potential downsides of it, and how people can address emotional longing in a healthier and more grounded manner.

What happens to your emotions and mind during cuffing season?

Dating becomes more rushed during cuffing season. (Picture credit: Freepik)

There's always a reason why one behaves the way they do. The altered dating behaviour does not solely refer to suddenly matching with new people on dating apps at record speed, but also slipping back into old, even problematic habits. Like, for instance, calling an ex, and not the drunk dial either, the scary sober conversation to ruminate on what went wrong and if there's any chance to patch up.

Back to decoding what goes on in your mind. The therapist shared that the changes in weather and daylight (shorter daytime hours) influence your mood, making you lonelier and more in need of emotional comfort. The longing for companionship, as Deepti highlighted, becomes much ‘stronger than usual.’ Imagine your emotional self wishing to snuggle up with someone (and literally, physically too.)

Now describing hormonal changes, Deepti elaborated, “With less sunlight and longer evenings spent indoors, the body’s hormonal balance changes: serotonin dips, melatonin fluctuates, and mood regulation becomes harder. All of this can make the comfort of a romantic relationship feel especially appealing. For someone who is single or navigating a breakup, that longing can feel even more pronounced.”

Another reason that the therapist shed light on was Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) “SAD often shows up as lower motivation, dullness, or feeling emotionally flat - leading people to crave external stimulation," Deepti said. "In cuffing season, that stimulation often gets projected onto romantic relationships, creating pressure to ‘find someone’ even when it may not be emotionally healthy.”

This means that in winter, many are naturally more predisposed to feel a winter-related low mood. To feel better, they look for external comfort. So they may not truly want to be in a relationship or may even be ready, overlooking big checkboxes like connection and compatibility, but for the sake of filling that emotional void, many daters jump into relationships (or situationship) these months. Deepti warned that it may not be emotionally healthy, suggesting that it may be counterproductive.

What is the problem?

Because of rushed decisions during the cuffing seasons, daters may experience heartbreak or other dating-related turmoil afterwards. Deepti shared a vital reality check: “What feels like excitement or instant chemistry may simply be an amplified response to loneliness, reduced sunlight, and the need for emotional warmth.”

So when you are emotionally charged to fix the hallmark winter low mood, you bring in a lot of energy, but that intensity, as the therapist highlighted, may be confused with compatibility as well.

“Cuffing season can blur the lines between genuine connection and seasonal vulnerability,” she warned.

What to do?

Hang out with your friends! (Picture credit: Freepik)

Deepti urged to ask yourself important questions: “Pausing to ask yourself, ‘Am I seeking this relationship because it feels right, or because the season is making me feel more fragile?’, can be grounding.”

She also suggested, “Instead of relying solely on romance to fill these gaps, it helps to channel connection into other parts of your life.”

This means romance is not the only way to fix the low mood. There are many healthier alternatives. Naming some, the therapist added, “Spend time with supportive friends, seek out sunlight where possible, move your body, and engage in activities that lift your mood.”

So one of the solutions is to redirect your energy towards something more productive. The therapist cautioned people reeling with heartbreak from jumping on the bandwagon of cuffing season, as it may come with emotional risks, as the emotional healing process is still ongoing.

Note to readers: This article is for informational purposes only and not a substitute for professional medical advice. Always seek the advice of your doctor with any questions about a medical condition.