Feeling led on by big promises? Future-faking is the new dating red flag you should not ignore

Know how you can tell the difference between long-term commitment and future-faking.

In the dating world, every once in a while, a new term pops up explaining dating behavioural trends. One of the latest ones making rounds is future-faking. Future planning in dating is generally valued, as it shows seriousness and commitment to the connection and is about working towards building something meaningful, together. But sometimes it can also be insincere.

Future-faking is exactly this: promises about the future, like ‘Let’s go on a vacation together' or ‘We should move in together’ are made, but there is no actual intention of following through. It's all talk, no action. It's like lovebombing but for the future. This keeps someone emotionally engaged in the relationship, being led on or breadcrumbed for believing in a future together.

So you are basically sold a future filled with big dreams and sweet hopes, only for there to be no real signs of it ever materialising. They may sound convincing enough to stay, but time slips and nothing actually comes true, not even close.

How do you understand that you are being future-faking?

So sometimes, future-faking doesn't always look obvious at first. In fact, it comes across as long-term interest and commitment, making it easy to mistake for genuine seriousness. Talking about the future, sure, is romantic, but you need to take a closer look to see if it's all a facade. There's a pattern that can help you understand if you are being future-faking.

Psychology Today listed out the red flags you need to know:

• Promises never materialise into action.
• Your partner avoids concrete plans or deadlines.
• You're blamed for ‘ruining the mood’ when you bring up follow-through.
• Grand gestures, such as public displays of affection, replace real accountability.
• You are blamed for the failure of future plans.
• You feel like your life is always in the ‘someday’ phase.
• You are promised that these future plans will come true this time if you come back to the relationship.
• Your partner says there are ‘conditions’ you need to meet before they follow through.

Not a new term?

In the post by The Everygirl, future-faking is also linked to another contemporary dating term, gaslighting, and the connection does make sense, as both involve emotional manipulation. While gaslighting makes a person question their own reality, future-faking keeps one led on, dangling the promise of a future. Both keep them trapped in a cycle.

However, the comment section revealed that future-faking does not feel new at all; it simply has a fancier, trendier name now. Many pointed out that this pattern has existed for a long time, well before it was given a label. One user summed it up bluntly, calling it, "formerly known as stringing someone along.”

So future-faking is not anything new, exposing a sobering reality of the dating world. Naming it does help people to identify the previously seen harmful patterns and validate the feelings and experiences.

Note to readers: This report is based on user-generated content from social media. HT.com has not independently verified the claims and does not endorse them. This article is for informational purposes only and not a substitute for professional medical advice.