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‘My wife is still in love with her ex’: Man shares heartbreaking dilemma on Reddit, asks for advice
A 33-year-old Indian man shares his heartbreak after his wife admits she still loves her ex, five years post-marriage.
An Indian man in his early thirties has spoken about a deeply unsettling phase in his marriage, saying his wife admitted she is still emotionally attached to her former partner, five years after their love marriage. The man shared his dilemma and heartbreaking story on subreddit Inside Indian Marriage.
''My wife is in love with her ex'
The 33-year-old man said he and his wife, 30, dated for six months before getting married. He was aware of her past relationship and believed it had ended permanently due to circumstances beyond her control. According to him, she had cut off all contact with her ex at the time.
For him, the relationship felt transformative. He described the marriage as the centre of his life, saying he felt he had “won at life” after years of feeling unremarkable and simply wanting to be loved. He said his wife made him feel “special, valued, and deeply loved”, despite the usual ups and downs of married life.
The situation changed abruptly after she unexpectedly ran into her ex. The man noticed a visible shift in her behaviour, marked by sadness and withdrawal. After repeated conversations, she eventually opened up about what she was feeling.
She told him she had “never truly gotten over” her former partner and often thought about “what could have been”. According to the husband, she said he was “exactly like him”, which was why she chose him, and admitted that she felt her previous relationship was an “unfinished love story”. She also told him she still missed her ex deeply.
The man later discovered that his wife had saved several social media videos focused on longing for an ex, regretting a breakup, and hoping to reunite “in another life”.
He said this revelation shattered his sense of reality and made him question the authenticity of their marriage. While he feels intense anger and resentment when he is away from her, he says his emotions shift completely in her presence.
“When I’m with her, I want whatever she wants,” he said, adding that he finds himself accepting being emotionally sidelined despite the pain.
What did Reddit advise him?
Reddit comments showed that many felt bad for the man, even asking him to end the marriage. A comment read, “S'he told me that I am exactly like him, which is why she chose me'. Whoa , that’s a terrible thing to say or think.” The original poster replied, “Yeah, that made me feel like an object in the shop.” The person replied, “You should file for divorce if she still loves her ex then no point. I was in same situation and we ended up getting divorced.”
Another advised, “Am sorry about your situation OP. Avoid having kids until this resolves." A comment read, “You’re cooked. You cannot compete with “the one that got away”. She will always have a soft corner for him and will wonder what could’ve been, which sucks.”
A person advised him to move on in his life. "Bro.. u r just 33 & have an entire life ahead of you. And you deserve to be loved. And unfortunately she’s the wrong person to build your life with bcoz she chose you as a replacement for her ex and did not choose you for you. That’s why she fought for you and stood by you bcoz she can’t afford to lose her ex’s replacement too. And now that the original is back in her life, she longing for it. She will never love you for you but only as a copy of her ex. You deserve someone who loves you for you."
However, a person suggested that all hope is not lost, “You both need an honest, calm talk about what marriage means now and couple therapy can really help here. Take care of yourself, love should not require you to disappear.”
A person aptly laid down the three options that the person has now. “You've got three paths mate. 1) If she wants to marry him then swallow your pride, accept it and let her go. 2) If she wants to be with you, she has to cut off all contact with him. No Exceptions. 3) File for Divorce with immediate effect because even if she completely cuts off contact with him, you will never truly take his place in her mind and heart.”
This report is based on user-generated content from social media. HT.com has not independently verified the claims and does not endorse them.
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