Overexplaining is an effect of trauma: Here's how we can address it - Hindustan Times

Overexplaining is an effect of trauma: Here's how we can address it

By, Delhi
Dec 18, 2023 03:07 PM IST

From seeking validation to being hypervigilant, here are a few reasons why people with trauma choose to overexplain themselves.

When we carry trauma of past experiences within us, we fear being rejected and abandoned. Being misunderstood is another big worry that can make us explain ourselves over and over again to get external validation. Overexplaining is a response that is caused by trauma and the fear of abandonment. "Trauma often triggers a need to overexplain, seeking safety by making sure others understand us. Self-awareness, through journaling, helps unravel these patterns, offering insights into triggers and reactions. Self-compassion becomes a soothing balm, nurturing our inner wounds. Grounding techniques stabilise amidst chaos," wrote Psychologist Caroline Middelsdorf. The expert further explained why overexplaining is done by people with trauma.

Overexplaining is an effect of trauma: Here's how we can address it(Unsplash)
Overexplaining is an effect of trauma: Here's how we can address it(Unsplash)

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A need for validation: When we come with a lot of traumas from past experiences, we constantly seek validation and understanding from the people around us. The need for constant approval and validation makes us explain ourselves over and over again.

Hyperarousal and hypervigilance: We are constantly overlooking the expressions and actions of other people to be sure if they are judging and misunderstanding us. Hence. We try to explain ourselves to avoid any kind of negative thinking and judgements before they happen.

Loss of control and powerlessness: When we go through trauma, we feel powerless and helpless. This feeling further makes us overexplain ourselves to gain little control on the way people think about us.

Here are a few ways by which we can reduce overexplaining:

Practice self-awareness: Being more self-aware and mindful helps us to understand the things that we truly need and learn to let go of things that ae beyond our control.

Set boundaries: We should learn to set boundaries to understand what is healthy for us and what is not. The way we share our emotions is also important. We should reveal only the feelings that are comfortable sharing with others.

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    Tapatrisha is Content Producer with Hindustan Times. She covers stories related to health, relationships, and fashion.

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