Singles' Day 2022: 9 reasons women are choosing to be single
While being single was earlier considered a taboo, it is now seen as empowering and liberating. Here are 9 reasons women are embracing singlehood.
Move over marriages and committed relationships, singlehood is the new buzzword and self love is gaining prominence as more and more women in India are choosing to be single, some even going for sologamy or self marriage. Kshama Bindu started the trend and TV actress Kanishka Soni followed it. Being single is no longer a tabboo as people are choosing themselves over a bad relationship or losing a flourising career/financial independence. Enjoying singledom also means that a person understands and accepts self, is a good decision maker and know that they deserve better. While a good relationship can truly be a blessing, a bad one could deeply scar one. (Also read: Singles' Day 2022: Surprising benefits of being single)
"In recent years, there has been a shift in societal norms regarding singlehood and relationships. Where once being single was considered taboo, now it is seen as empowering and liberating. This shift is most apparent in women," says Dr. Chandni Tugnait is M.D. (Alternative Medicines), Psychotherapist, Life Coach, Business Coach, NLP Expert, Healer, Founder & Director - Gateway of Healing.
Here are reasons why women are choosing to be single
They don’t need a man to define them
"In the past, a woman’s worth was largely based on her relationship status. If she was married, she was considered a success. If she was single, she was considered a failure. This way of thinking is antiquated, and women today know that their worth comes from within themselves, not from their relationship status," says Dr Tugnait.
Lack of healthy relationship role models
Another reason why women do not want to change their single status is because while growing up they did not see a lot of people who had successful relationships or marriages.
"According to psychology, what we see in the first 10 years of our life becomes the foundation of our life. If we have not seen our parents being communicative, affectionate, expressive, navigating their emotions well, equality, respectful, and all other things which a healthy relationship should show- We might not have good experience with romantic relationships and we might feel that it's better to be alone rather than getting into the complexity of a romantic relationship," says Arouba Kabir, Mental Health counselor & Founder, Enso Wellness.
Focus on career and financial independence
"Women have struggled for a long time to have that equality in professional spaces and today as well they need to prove themselves more than their male colleagues which leaves them hardly with any time for their personal relationships. And if women choose to be professionally successful most of the time then they are not being able to balance that professional and personal space because of the lack of support from the family or the partner and that professional space also gives them a lot of financial independence which they otherwise might not have," says Arouba.
They want to focus on themselves
"Women are often so busy taking care of everyone else that they forget to take care of themselves. But when they’re single, they can focus on their own happiness without having to worry about someone else’s needs or expectations. This allows them to grow and evolve in ways they never would have been able to if they were in a relationship," says Dr Tugnait.
Disappointment with romantic partners
"We are taught how to grade well in school, how to respect our elders, how to do prayers but we are not taught how to navigate ourselves in a romantic relationship. Even till today it is not considered a good thing to be in a romantic relationship in many families before marriage which sometimes leads to bad experiences in romance, or choosing emotionally unavailable or emotionally immature men which only shakes their belief system in romantic relationships," says Arouba.
They don’t want to compromise
"In any relationship, there will be times when you have to compromise on things you want or need in order to make your partner happy. But when you’re single, you don’t have to compromise – you can do whatever you want, whenever you want, without having to consider someone else’s feelings or needs. And that is extremely empowering, for some," says Dr Tugnait.
"One can not pour from an empty cup- from a very young age women are expected to just prepare to nurture a home or a family even if they are supported to have good education and have a career. But times are changing women are becoming more aware of themselves and are prioritising themselves more which does not mean they are being selfish but it just means they are being self-aware. They exactly know what kind of a person they would want to be with, what does a person brings on the table because they are working on themselves and realising their worth more and more," says Arouba.
They know they deserve better
"Women today know their worth and they refuse to settle for anything less than what they deserve – which is why more and more of them are choosing to stay single until they find a partner who meets all their needs and requirements. They know that they deserve happiness, respect, love, and commitment and they’re not willing to settle for anything less," says Dr Tugnait.
Low self esteem
"Sometimes it is also the low self-esteem that they're not able to navigate their emotions, express themselves and set boundaries which makes them feel more lonely in a relationship than being single or alone. There are many attachment styles which make people difficult to have healthy relationships in life and they choose to be on their own and isolate themselves," says Arouba.