Want to become more confident? Therapist Jeffrey Meltzer shares 5 ways to achieve the goal

Collecting evidence, role-playing difficult conversations ahead of time, and focusing on what is within one's control all help build confidence.

Confidence is the key that unlocks many doors, but not everyone possesses it. Some say that the best way to become confident is to start pretending that you are, and then never stop pretending.

While that may be solid advice, one may need some extra help. Taking to Instagram on July 16, Florida-based therapist Jeffrey Meltzer shared a more detailed process.

The five ways to become more confident, as shared by Jeffrey, are presented as follows.

1. Collect specific evidence

In the words of the therapist, “Confidence becomes stronger when your brain has real examples of you handling difficult situations. So, after something challenging, write down what you did well and what you would like to repeat next time. This trains you to remember your capability instead of only remembering what felt awkward or frustrating.”

2. Make the challenge small enough to learn from

While it is important to face difficulties, throwing oneself into an overwhelming situation can make a person feel even less confident, cautioned the therapist.

“So, choose a step that brings up some discomfort without completely flooding you. Your confidence will go up when your brain learns, ‘Hey, that was really difficult, but I was able to handle it,’” he pointed out.

3. Practise before the pressure is high

Before jumping directly into the real situation, roleplaying the difficult conversation ahead of time often helps.

“Rehearse your opening sentence or visualise yourself responding calmly when something goes wrong,” shared Jeffrey. “Preparation gives your brain a familiar path to follow, which makes it easier to access your skills under stress.”

4. Change how you interpret nervousness

Feeling anxious before something important does not automatically mean that someone is unprepared or incapable.

According to Jeffrey, “You can acknowledge the anxiety and remind yourself, ‘My body is having anxiety because this matters to me. I can still perform well despite having anxiety.’ That interpretation can help you stay engaged instead of treating the feeling as a warning sign that everything will go wrong.”

5. Measure what you can control

No one can always control whether they win or get the outcome they want. However, what a person can measure is whether they were prepared, whether they stayed focused, their level of persistence, and whether they kept their chin up when things became difficult, noted the therapist.

Note to readers: This article is for informational purposes only and not a substitute for professional medical advice. This report is based on user-generated content from social media. HT.com has not independently verified the claims and does not endorse them.

Jeffrey Meltzer is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor based in Florida. He graduated with a Master's in Mental Health Counselling from the University of South Florida and has been providing therapy services for over seven years.