E-Paper
Woman hits pause on engagement after failing to agree with fiancé on number of kids they want: Reddit reacts
When a couple fails to agree on the number of children they wish to have after marriage, the woman puts wedding on hold and seeks advice from Reddit.
Getting on the same page about the number of kids one wants in future is a common discussion to have before a couple gets hitched. However, for one 27-year-old woman, the conversation did not go the way she wanted and resulted in the wedding being put on hold.
She shared her experience on the popular subreddit, r/AITAH, where the community lent her a sympathetic ear.
Falling out over the future…
The OP (original poster) began her post by stating that she had got engaged with a 30-year-old man five months ago. Everything was going according to plan, but things hit a snag when the subject of having children in the future was brought up.
While the OP wished for two, her future husband was set on having five children. The OP stressed that she was always open about her views on having children, and felt that two was right for her. However, her fiancé felt that she might change her mind after they start having them.
Being unable to change his mind, the OP decided to put the wedding on hold. She did have the support of some of her family members and friends, while the others felt that she was overreacting.
In a later edit to her original post, she added that growing up with baby cousins made her realise that raising kids needs a lot of work, and while her fiancé might be able to afford five children, she definitely could not.
The man also travels for work, and the OP did not plan to be a stay-at-home mom. She felt that two kids would be a compromise on her part already, and was sure about not changing her mind to have more.
Redditors sympathise with the OP
Netizens on Reddit found the OP’s reason to put her wedding on hold completely justified. As one person noted, “Not being aligned regarding kids is a dealbreaker.”
“Easy for him to say he expects five when he will not be the one risking their body and health every pregnancy and birth, or who will be the default parent looking after them,” stated another. “Does he even make enough money to afford that many kids? Are y’all on the same page regarding domestic labour and childcare? Parenting in general? … Sounds like there is a lot to be discussed before getting married let alone having children. You are correct in doing neither before you both figure those things out.”
“This isn't pause. This is break up,” nudged a third.
“Disregarding your bodily autonomy is a serious red flag,” pointed out a fourth.
“I don’t understand why men convince themselves women don’t know what they want and will change their minds. It’s not sane,” observed yet another.
Note to readers: This report is based on user-generated content from social media. HT.com has not independently verified the claims and does not endorse them.
Catch your daily dose of Fashion, Taylor Swift, Health, Festivals, Travel, Relationship, Recipe and all the other Latest Lifestyle News on Hindustan Times Website and APPs.
