Cyrus Broacha on love: Don’t force your GF to do things only you like

Cyrus Broacha answers weekly love and relationship queries.

Recently, I approached a girl for friendship. She agreed to be my friend. A few days later she proposed to me. But, now she has left the coaching class where we met. She doesn’t have any contact. I don’t want to lose her. What should I do?
AMP

Nothing kills love more than acts of force, says love guru Cyrus Broacha. Just pull back, chill and don’t tell her what to do, he adds.

AMP, the question we need to ask is are you a country? Are you China reaching out for friendship with India? There is a 86% statistical probability that you are in fact not a country. So let’s not overrate the whole friendship experience. Yet, you say she proposed to you but you didn’t clarify what happened next. Did you agree or did you stick with your guns and downgrade to ‘friendship’? In this day and age there’s got to be a way to contact her. The coaching class will have her contact details. I mean that’s what coaching classes were invented for. To help boys and girls meet. If you passed exams it was meant to be a bonus. So don’t waste time. She has proposed, go find her. I mean did you learn nothing in your coaching class.

Read: No means no: Cyrus Broacha urges men to learn to accept rejection

Recently, my girlfriend of six years started working. After which, she would call me only once a week. Nowadays, she calls me every day because I force her to do so. But, she talks rudely, and then, we start arguing. How do I handle her?
Vishal

Vishal, the answer to your queries are all there in William Shakespeare’s comedy. The Merry Wives of Windsor. You find Act 2 Scene 3 and Act 5 scene 1 of great merit and assurance. Unfortunately, my wife threw my Shakespeare plays out of the house as I had kept it with my other adult literature content, if you know what I mean. By the way, Shakespeare could be quite filthy! In the meantime, here’s a thought: How about not bossing or trying to force your girlfriend to do things? Remember that Shakespeare proverb: “You can take a horse to water, but you cannot teach it to swim the breast stroke, at least not in just 7 days.” Nothing kills love more than acts of force. This explains why any professional weightlifters have poor love lives. Just pull back, chill and don’t tell her what to do.

I have a crush on a cute guy who left the company where I work. I am a shy and reserved person. I hardly make any eye contact with people. He recently sent me a friend request along with 300-400 other people. I do not know how to approach him or if he is dating someone or married. I hardly get impressed by any guy, but I like him because he appeared to be quite decent. The problem is that he is in some other city. Should I message him or just forget him?ST

ST, of course you should message him. How can you back off without knowing more? This is like having a plant, but not watering it because your not sure. Our society is littered with unwatered plants, as a result, people like you who decide to go into a state of coma whenever they are confronted by the faint possibility of romance. And remember, you’re still just in the friend stage. Please prove the friendship and stay in touch. As you know in 2016 , 79% of people who fell in love did so initially through a friends request. The rest were all on Twitter, of course.

Looking for someone to fall in love with? Don't look too hard. (Shutterstock)

Read: Love yourself to be loved by others

I’ve been in a relationship for almost a year. His parents know about us and are almost mentally prepared to get us married. I’m scared to tell my dad because of his chronic illness and temper. I really love this guy and I am looking forward to spend my life with him. How should I tell my dad?
SP

SP, remember the name Anand Balakrishnan Junior? He’s the guy who invented the concept of 75% .He would have nailed the 100% concept, as well, but fell off a bridge after a bridal shower, after a bridal shower which he had involuntarily crashed as it was Lisbon and Anand didn’t speak a word of Portuguese. Anyhow, you have his parent support plus presumably your own mothers as well. That’s 75% of both sets of parents. This would have allowed you to avoid Brexit for God’s sake. Forget Brexit 75% would allow you to form our government! Getting the fourth parent on your side is a game of patience. Use your collective powers of all relatives and friends to help dad come on board. Negotiations be slow and sometimes painful but worth it. Push back the wedding date and work on the father. As I told William Shakespeare 400 years after he died “Alls Well That Ends Well.”