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Cyrus Broacha’s relationship advice: Love yourself to be loved by others

Columnist Cyrus Broacha answers queries on love, loss and relationship dilemmas.

sex and relationships Updated: Jun 14, 2016 08:21 IST
Cyrus Broacha
Cyrus Broacha
Hindustan Times
Cyrus Broacha,Relationship advice,Agony aunt
Cyrus plays ‘agony aunt’ and answers our readers’ love queries.

Are you having relationship troubles? Is the long distance bothering you or do you have trust issues? Are you looking for someone to talk your heart out about these problems?

Worry not. So, TV anchor, theatre personality, comedian, political satirist, columnist and author, Cyrus Broacha is here to help you: From navigating relationship trouble to helping your love life go the distance, he’s got all the dating advice you’ll ever need from your first date to something that you can’t find a solution to.

From how to approach your crush to how to handle a break up, shoot your questions to Cyrus and he will answer them.

I am obese and not good looking either. I like a guy who is handsome. I feel if I approach him and tell him my feelings, he won’t understand me. Please help.
-- AB

AB for God’s sake 38% of the world is obese. I knew mountains and rocks that are obese. STOP with the labelling. The famous mountaineer Aroethe M A C K in his book, the mountain of Youth asked himself this question, ‘Are you happy being you?’. Obviously he wasn’t and as a consequence he made us suffer his incredibly boring book on his love for a mountain. So, are you happy being you AB? Don’t answer that right now because I won’t be able to hear you. But if you don’t like you how’s Mr lover gonna like you? Can’t expect him to love you as compensation. Your not his personal NGO you know. If you like him, march on , fearlessly. If not take positive action till you do like you and then march on. Please no more mountains, I mean how would you like it if I spent 3 years climbing a mountain and made you read all about in a book of the same size.

I come from a very conservative family. My mother and father are against a love marriage. Dad says he won’t see my face and mom says she will commit suicide if I even intend to go for a love marriage. I love a girl who is crazy about me. I can’t break her heart or mine. Help me.
-- Mr Sadu

Mr Sadu when the famous Targat General lay low was faced with the dilemma of crossing the stream or of learning swimming he simply removed his underpants and held them over head thus ensuring a safe dry underwear at the end of the ordeal. Of course it turned out he had crossed the wrong stream and he had to so the same thing again at a different stream two days later, and this time he had forgotten his inner wear, but that’s so different story. The point is every problem has a solution. if your parents are acting unreasonable involve your grandparents or their friends, Some authority that they respect. This could be a golf professional a life guard or the bhajiwalla. (it could be a bhajiwali) . Delicately handle your mom and dad . Don’t be bullied but don’t bully either. Everybody has a ear for the right person. Be calm and assertive and always, always carry extra underwear at streams.

Read: Cyrus Broacha’s relationship advice: Sometimes, just say no

I have been in a relationship with a girl from Germany for the past seven months. We met on Facebook. We regularly Skype and talk over the phone. We love each other. I’m a bit confused because I am 18, and it will take me a few years to get a job and settle down, and go to Germany. What should I do?
-- YS

What luck! Y S, I am going to Germany too. Of course, my wife says I’m not allowed to find someone special, unless it’s a beach property with a big bungalow for her. I’m not worried about the 18 hit so much, but please slow down . I mean your running like Usain Bolt, who clearly suffers from depression because his job ends in 9 and a half seconds, and then he has nothing to do! For now loving each other is enough. Maybe a holiday in Germany will open your eyes to the reality of the situation. A job and settling down is still a while away. By the way, I feel Angela Merkel is the best leader in the world. So if you do settle down in Germany, I’ll lift my Stien and drink a beer to you. AND remember if you do migrate to Germany it will be a waste of all those good grades you got in Marathi and Hindi.

Read: Cyrus Broacha to the rescue: Long distance love can work, you know

I’ve been in a relationship for a year. But, a guy in my neighbourhood has been showing interest in me. I am interested in him as well, but we have never spoken. My boyfriend knows about him, and has asked him if I am serious about this guy. I don’t want to cheat on by boyfriend. What should I do?

Clearly you are interested in the new guy or you wouldn’t have written in NP. I’ll tell you exactly what I told my doggie Mary yesterday. “Come here sweetie and give us a lick ... Sorry that wasn’t for you. The second thing I said to Mary is for you NP, ‘Do you want your biscuit or the Frisbee?’. I gave her the choice because both can’t fit in her mouth at the same time. So if you don’t want to lose the biscuit forget the Frisbee. The choice is simple - you can’t have both. Not in this government NP. It’s really very simple really. By the way I’d take the Frisbee as the biscuit is over in three bites.

First Published: Jun 14, 2016 08:15 IST