Witerati: Mallya knot to CBSE blot, Twitter on trot
This season of IPL heralds not just cricketainment and cricket speak, but also other entertainment that spells tidings leak, bleak and squeak.
Of King of Knotty Times
This is a match that promised a maiden over and over again. Thrice over. When tidings trended of liquor-baron-gone-broke Vijay Mallya getting “knot-ty” a third time, Twitter simply broke.
Mallya’s isn’t a case of dalliances a dime a dozen. It’s a matter of meme ‘n’ mime a dozen -- from “Vijay Mallya getting married again because he was feeling a loan” to “Siddharth Mallya to Vijay Mallya: Yaar ek baar ghodi pe chadna naseeb nahi hua, yeh saala ghodi pe hi ghoom raha hai tab se.”
The Indian constabulary might have competition – it turns out the baron in the land of Bard of Avon spells not only a prize “catch” for the cop, but is also prize catch for airhostesses on the hop. The way the ‘King of Good Times’ cocked a snook at detractors by court-ing a ‘trophy’ queen third time made his a classic case of ‘Royal Chaal-engers Bangalore’.
Of exam leak & future bleak
The season belongs not only to bagging wives like trophy, but also to parenthood and pupils suffering a sense of atrophy. Just when many a mother was heaving a sigh of relief that ‘bechara bachchas’ would be over with that Dada of Class X exams – maths – there broke out the Baap of all Scams.
As the CBSE paper leak broke Twitter and tamasha TV, this Father of School Shams proved a testing time for not only millions of students but also many a Mother through Maha Exams – Boards or on board Life.
What followed this education shame, was a belligerent blame game. The system stepped into overdrive doing what it does best in the face of disgrace – passing the buck. The Board got busy shrugging off blame with excuses lame, the bureaucracy looked busy scouting for scapegoat to name, and the “neta-cracy” shifted the buck Left Right Centre, doing much the same.
The cacophony over the CBSE leak also saw many a Dada of Debate disposed to decibel-ism go squeak squeak. As hashtags -- #NoRetestDemand, #CBSESham et al – came riding the gabs of Pashas of Primetime Rajdeep Sardesai, Arnab & Co, it wasn’t discernible what drowned more in the debate din – the present blame speak or students’ future bleak.
In this diatribe it was difficult to describe, the system is grooming which of this selfhelp book-styled tribe – “Exam Warriors” or “Exam Worriers”. A classic case of education evolving into edutainment, courtesy Team CBSE ‘Delhi Scare-Devils’.
Of Shashism meets Buddhism
When the King of Good Times breaks Twitter, can the King of Good Rhymes be far behind? Parliamentarian Shashi Tharoor broke Twitter not because of a Pinky but a Jayanti. Tharoor got trolled Left Right Centre for tweeting a picture of Lord Buddha instead of Lord Mahavira on Mahavir Jayanti.
That sent many a troll on a roll to spew vitriol — “When you get confused between Royal Challenge VS Royal Stag” –— as trolls turned tutors to the Stephanian fabled for schooling Tweeple in semantic correctness.
This sure calls for a new Shashism: “A farrago of bit Buddhism and just Jainism, suffused with serendipitous sentiments of spiritualism, can be coterminous and converge to translate into multiculturalism driven by Shashism …” A classic case of Twitter-tainment thanks to one-man team ‘Kochi Tutors Kerala’.