7 important questions to ask yourself before getting serious about a relationship
Here’s a checklist of questions to ask yourself when considering a serious relationship. And don’t forget to ask your BFFs and parents to weigh in.Updated: Oct 24, 2017 11:56 IST
It’s always enticing to get into a relationship with someone you feel could be great for you. But it’s never easy to know if you really should or shouldn’t make it serious. After all relationships can be stressful.
Now, before you start cringing, we are here to encourage you - and applaud you - for having the courage to step up to the plate and admit when you’re falling in love with someone. But is it time to lock it down with her/him?
Here’s how to know for sure. Here’s a checklist of questions to ask yourself when considering a serious relationship. And don’t forget to ask your BFFs and parents to weigh in: They are likely have useful insights. Hope it makes things easy - or as easy as such a decision can be.
1. How well do you know him/her?
What if your friends introduced the both of you? Would that be good enough to merit your potential partner’s character and commitment? Not really, since what you want in a person and the parameters by which you judge a person might be different from the way your friends assess people. The best way to get to know someone is to spend more time with them, and romantic relationships are no different. Also, it’s a good idea to spend time with him/her, when he/she is with their family and friends to understand them better.
2. Can I trust her/him?
Trust is a huge thing in a relationship. If there’s no trust, there’s nothing. You will eventually share private matters with your partner, so you need to ask yourself whether you feel comfortable discussing intimate information, and maybe even secrets, with her/him. You don’t want to worry about her/him spilling the beans about you later on.
3. Are we comfortable when quiet?
Your partner needs to be able to enjoy the silences you share. So once again, spend more time with them to get to know this.
4. Am I genuinely attracted to him/her?
It’s easy to be drawn to someone because of his/her looks. But the real question is, do you like them for the person they are? If the answer is no, it will not work.
5. Does she/he accept me for who I am?
If she/he wants too many changes in you, then it might be better to wait before making things serious. She/he should love you for who and what you are. Of course, trying to improve you as a person and helping you is all good, but if she/he wants to change most things about you, then take it as a sign that you two aren’t meant to be together.
6. Selflessness or selfishness?
A balance of powers exists in every relationship. But don’t ever neglect your own needs. You don’t have to sacrifice your needs at the altar of your partner’s. In fact, there needs to be space for both your and his/her desires to coexist, and flourish even. Your partner should not have a mindset that his/her needs are above all else, and what you want is secondary. You cannot let your partner take you lightly and tread all over you, and vice-versa. That’s not how healthy relationships work.
7. Are his/her hopes and dreams for the future compatible with yours?
If one partner wants that both of you must work, while the other feels that only one of you should be the breadwinner, it could lead to serious issues later on. So you need to be sure that both your goals and priorities regarding certain key issues match.
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First Published: Oct 24, 2017 11:56 IST