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Are you Mr ‘loved by everyone’?

Amongst top ten reasons of stress in this world, that of ‘what people think about me’ would score right at the top. Sonal Kalra lists some of the top stress factors for the same...

sex and relationships Updated: Apr 27, 2009 15:51 IST
A calmer you | Sonal Kalra

He had the weirdest expression on his face. Brows stitched together, narrow eyes staring into the void… a face you would have if you’ve been asked to find a reason to visualise Mallika Sherawat in a saree, or to set up a paan shop in Honolulu or maybe even vote for Mayawati. And it’s not easy to watch Pappu Singh try to think… about anything infact.

So I asked him what was bothering him and he said “Madam ji, mein shayad ajeeb tha… shukar hai ab theek ho gaya hoon.” Huh? Before I could ask further, Chhottu explained that Jayant, who dropped by at the dhabha earlier, had called Pappu Singh ‘abnormal’.

Not wishing to break his heart by explaining the difference between abnormal and ab-normal, I just asked Chhottu what prompted Jayant to say this. He explained that Jayant was cribbing about some tension when Pappu Singh remarked that he doesn’t ever get tense, at which Jayant replied that loads of people call him abnormal behind his back. Now that got ‘ever so calm’ Pappu Singh worried, too.

The point is, even the calmest of people get stressed by thinking what others think of them. Maybe if we are ever able to figure out the top ten reasons of stress in this world, the stress of ‘what people think/say about me’ would score right up there. At workplace, some of us spend as much energy and effort in trying to find out if and what colleagues are bitching about us as we spend in doing our work.

For the most part, there’s never a sure shot way of knowing what they are saying, but that doesn’t stop us from worrying, though. At home, this stress takes the form of what relatives and friends think about us. We have a tendency to gather bits and pieces of what we hear and build up this imaginary castle of tension. We are all born with this innate desire to be liked by all and be the most popular person in class, at office and in the family.

The truth is, however, and this holds true for everyone from Delhi to Darbhanga and Detroit to Dalhousie, that no matter how good you are or what you do, there would still be some people who would not like you. Don’t kill yourself in trying to please them. Just make sure that these people don’t outnumber those who do like and appreciate you for what you are. If you are confident that what you’re doing is the right thing and don’t have a lesson to learn from what the detractors are saying about you, they only deserve one thing — a royal ignore.

For there are all kinds of people in this world… even those who do visualise Ms Sherawat in a saree, dream about setting up business in Honolulu and will vote for Mayawati.

Sonal Kalra doesn’t give a damn about what people say about her. That bugging device she’s placed in her colleagues’ chambers is only to test some new technology.

Mail your calmness tricks to her at

First Published: Apr 27, 2009 14:50 IST