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Sunday, Aug 25, 2019

Do you share housework? If not, your relationship may end

As a recent study finds out that couples who don’t share household chores are at risk of a break-up, we ask experts for solutions.

sex-and-relationships Updated: Feb 22, 2017 19:02 IST
Collin Rodrigues
Collin Rodrigues
Hindustan Times
Multitasking can lead to exhaustion and burnout, thereby, affecting relationships and marriages
Multitasking can lead to exhaustion and burnout, thereby, affecting relationships and marriages(Imagesbazaar)

Most couples who stay together know that doing household chores could put them off. However, either party has to do it. And often, one person in a relationship takes the responsibility of doing most of the chores, while the other partner either barely contributes or doesn’t share the burden at all, because he or she is simply not interested. But, if reports about a new study are to be believed, these couples and their love lives are in trouble.

Researchers at Stockholm University have concluded that the division of household duties has a huge impact on marital satisfaction and stability. Individuals, who do the bulk of the housework are unhappy in their relationships, and may breakup with their partners.

Sharing is caring
So why is it important to divide housework? Psychotherapist and life coach, Neeta V Shetty puts it into perspective. She says, “Marriages and relationships have evolved in the past decade. Increasingly, there are no gender defined roles for couples in a relationship. Men are not the sole breadwinners in the family anymore and neither are women just homemakers. Women are working, commuting, meeting targets and achieving career goals as well as taking care of household responsibilities and children. This multitasking has led to exhaustion and burnout, which is affecting relationships and marriages.” She adds, “Friction, because of not sharing household chores is on the rise. Dividing work is extremely important. Doing household chores is a way of showing that you care for your partner. It is also an activity, which can help you spend time with each other in this fast-paced life.”

The person avoiding household duties should be aware that his or her behaviour is affecting his or her partner and relationship.


On the physical side, Shetty says that a person who is overburdened with house chores may experience exhaustion, leading to high levels of the stress hormone cortisol, which can lower immunity.

Talk it out
If your partner doesn’t want to share the household chores, and doesn’t understand, you could try convincing him or her. Assistant professor and clinical psychologist, Mary George Varghese says, “Convincing a person who doesn’t want to share his role in a particular task is difficult. As a first step, one should get this person involved in homely activities. Once the job is done, acknowledge how his or her help made a difference.”

Varghese adds, “Sharing of responsibilities between two people in a relationship is always a healthy sign. Among married people, it helps in family bonding and children learn the values of loving, caring and the dignity of labour. In such families, the dynamics change entirely and that naturally reflects in their relationships. So, sharing household work helps partners to lead a harmonious and healthy personal, family and a professional life.”

Positive effects of sharing household chores
For women
Relaxation and a better quality life
Physical and psychological health improves
Helps in becoming a better person at home and in society
Improves efficiency at work
She could turn out to be an emotionally balanced person
Improvement in sexual life

For men
Good health and probability of a medicine free life
A balanced person at home and in the society
A stress-free life
A sense of accomplishment and satisfaction
- Mary George Varghese, assistant professor and clinical psychologist

First Published: Feb 22, 2017 19:00 IST

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