Kiss of death for relationships: It’s contempt, not cheating
If you think cheating was the main reason why most couples opted for divorces or annulments, you’re wrong. According to an extensive study, most divorces are actually caused by one behaviour and that is contempt.Updated: Feb 05, 2016 18:51 IST
This is for all you married people out there. If you think cheating was the main reason why most couples opted for divorces or annulments, you’re wrong. According to an extensive study, most divorces are actually caused by one behaviour and that is contempt.
Contempt, a mix of anger and disgust, is far more toxic than simple frustration or negativity. It involves seeing your partner as beneath you, rather than as an equal.
Psychologists John Gottman from the University of Washington and Robert Levenson from University of California at Berkeley led a study of 79 newly-married couples in a span of 14 years, which found out that contempt caused by superiority complex is a real relationship killer for many married people.
Contempt is the “kiss of death” for relationships and can predict divorce with an accuracy level of 93%, according to Gottman. Contempt and superiority complex can kill relationships because a person with contempt will have a hard time relating to and understanding the feelings, opinion and perspective of his or her significant other.
If you want to enjoy a long, loving marriage, then you may want to dump the contempt, listen well and pump up the positivity.
First Published: Feb 05, 2016 18:48 IST