Open infidelity to keep marriage alive?
A Sydney-based author has claimed that condoning infidelity isn’t a fast track to the divorce court, but is the key to a happy, healthy and stable relationship.sex and relationships Updated: Nov 29, 2011 14:23 IST
A Sydney-based author has claimed that condoning infidelity isn’t a fast track to the divorce court, but is the key to a happy, healthy and stable relationship.
Holly Hill and her long-term partner Phil Dean encouraged each other to be open about their desires for others.
“If he went to the pub, spotted a girl and wanted to go back to hers for a quickie, I’d be like, ‘Go for it, darling!’” News.com.au quoted her as saying."Because when you have occasional lovers outside of your relationship, you don’t take your partner for granted. In fact, it often helps reinforce why you love your partner in the first place," she said.
The 44-year-old author likens her philosophy to drinking fine wines.
“If you only ever drink Grange Hermitage and don’t go near plonk, you don’t fully appreciate how good the Grange is.
“It’s the same with your partner. The quickie with the woman from the pub is never going to be as good as what he has with you,” she said.
Hill believes that this “negotiated infidelity” is a great way to preserve a happy and healthy home life rather than destroy it, especially when you take into consideration different partners’ sex drives.
“We’re conditioned to share absolutely everything in our lives, except our partners.
“I came to the conclusion that if my partner was more highly sexed than me and if I wasn’t going to use him 24/7, why shouldn’t I share him with another woman?
“Or if I spot a hot guy in a bar and we connect, why shouldn’t I explore that? If two people really love one another, they respond to each other’s needs,” Hill added.
First Published: Nov 29, 2011 14:18 IST