Seriously Cyrus:Perfection is temporary, love may be more solid

Cyrus Broacha gives you advice on love, relationships and more.
Cyrus Broacha gives quirky tips on resolving relationship issues.(Unsplash)
Cyrus Broacha gives quirky tips on resolving relationship issues.(Unsplash)
Updated on Aug 19, 2019 12:42 PM IST
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Hindustan Times, Delhi | ByCyrus Broacha

Are you having relationship troubles? Is the long distance bothering you or do you have trust issues? Are you looking for someone to talk your heart out about these problems?

Worry not. TV anchor, theatre personality, comedian, political satirist, columnist and author, Cyrus Broacha is here to help you: From navigating relationship trouble to helping your love life go the distance, he’s got all the dating advice you’ll ever need from your first date to a commitment to even something that you can’t find a solution to.

From how to approach your crush to how to handle a break up, shoot your questions to Cyrus and he will answer them.

I am a 25-year-old woman. I am in a relationship with a colleague for the last six months. However, now he is changing his job and I am a bit unhappy with this decision as I am too used to him around me. How do I resolve this? — KL

KL, I remember what my one-year-old son, Mikhaail, wisely said to me. He said “Aabadabadoododooo”. My point is if his decision is made, than that’s that. You may “stop”, or even, Aabadabadoododooo, but it won’t change anything. However, why do you feel moving will affect the relationship? Remember what my two-year-old son said to me. “Absence makes the heart grow fonder”. You’ll take each other less for granted, and may plan your dating time better, resulting in more quality time. As my three-year-old son said to me, “See the glass as half full, and not half empty”. In the long run, familiarity would have bred contempt. (The words of my four-year-old son, not mine).

I am a 28-year-old guy and I am planning to get settled soon. My parents are looking for a suitable alliance, but I am not really sure what kind of a person I am looking for. Do you think we can ever find the perfect one? — VI

No. That’s my answer. The Apache leader Geronimo, had the perfect wife. He called her Geronima. Invites for functions always read, ‘Geronimo and Geronima’. She was pretty and only seven inches taller than him. However, as they aged, she gained an extra chin, her midriff collected 30 odd extra pounds, her thighs squeaked when she walked. Worse still, she started nagging Geronimo. She called him names, like old man, loser, waste of time, and worst of all, shorty! He hated shorty. So, stop, please, stop looking for perfection. Perfection is ‘temporary’. Love may be a little more solid. And by the way, you want perfection. But what about you? How bloody perfect are you?

I am a 33-year-old woman and I have a four-year-old child. I am a working person, but I am being asked to sit at home and take care of my child. I don’t know how to convince my husband and his parents that I want to work. What should I do? — JK

JK, how dare they? The parents and husband deserve a good spanking. Please check if you have electricity at home. You can’t have. They obviously they live in the dark ages. How old are your in-laws? I am assuming 300 plus? Catch your husband by his ear, then pull him down the knees. Then twist his nose and ear simultaneously. Be very severe on him. Make sure tears roll down his cheeks. This is 2019. In parts of India, it may be 2011, but where you are, it’s 2019. They have absolutely zero right in telling you to sit at home, and do child rearing. Your child. Your life. You are calling the shots. Twist that husband’s ear, controlling his medieval parents are his job.

I am a 30-year-old man and I have been married for the last three years. In the last six months, we have been in turbulent situations as my wife wants us to move out and not stay with my parents and I will not be doing that. How do you think can we get our relationship back on track? — VJ

Well, I was in the same situation as you. Initially, my wife wanted us to leave my parent’s home. Then after three years, she preferred my parents to me. Now, they want me to leave home, so that the three of them can live happily ever after. I’ll say this though, you have to side with your wife. Not out of love for one over the other, but out of your concern for your safety. Personal safety. Chances of you being smothered to death with a pillow is 77% right now. Who has access to your pillow? Your wife. I’m presuming you have tried to bring peace in… valley. Now, sit with your wife and discuss the financial and emotional implications of moving out. Maybe give your parents one more chance at a counter offer, once they know you are serious. Feel free to cry into your pillow though. You see, in this situation, however you go, you sort of lose. Welcome to the World.

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