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Statutory warning: 7 guys you should never date

Trust us we've sampled a whole spectrum of guys out there and quite a few of them are totally not worth your time. We give you the seven men a woman must never, ever date: from the good-on-paper dudes, who're really just chumps, to that dude who wants to make you his mom!

sex and relationships Updated: Jul 01, 2014 15:29 IST
Sanya Panwar
Sanya Panwar
Hindustan Times
dating,men you should never date,women

Talk of the type of men you should never date, and conventional wisdom suggests you keep a master list handy to refer to when you feel you are going weak-kneed for the wrong person. The trouble is, it is not fool-proof, and your success rate fluctuates according to your mood swings.

Now, here's something you just cannot go wrong with: types of guys a woman must never, ever date: from the good-on-paper dudes, who're really just chumps, to that dude who wants to make you his mom! The rule of thumb here: do not follow your instinct blindly and dive directly into the hive.

Back to the list. There are seven kinds of men you must steer clear of. Trust us we've sampled a whole spectrum of guys out there and quite a few of them are totally not worth your time. But then again, the reason to avoid these gentlemen has little to do with the men themselves and everything to do with what they bring to your life.

So, let the avoiding games begin! And may the odds be ever in your favour!

1 The Victim
This boy would get into the brains of even the most sensible girls. With that sob story he uses to lure girls into his whirlpool of misery, this boy is armed and dangerous. He would make you want to cuddle him and 'mummy' him; but after a point this bloke becomes a pain. He's excessively melodramatic and exaggerates even the smallest events. All he ever does is whine and feel sorry for his life, work, and family and just about everything. He would fulfill your maternal needs for a while, but at the end of the day he isn't your kid (and who even wants an eternally sobbing kid?). Stay far from him.

2 The Girl
'Of course I'll go shopping with you! Wow that looks amazing! We should totally get that purse! Those heels are made for you. I love how you've done your hair!' Does this guy sound like an angel from heaven? Well, quite the opposite; he is the messenger from hell, telling you that you'll soon die because of an overdose of sweetness! He's all fun and games, a sweetheart even, but he could end up being best friends with your girlfriends and bam! He would be dating one of them and not you. Why? Because who wouldn't want a style consultant -fan-lover rolled into one? Ladies, beware.

3 Your best friend's brother
This man will appeal to you most and make your mind invariably wander to a place better left untouched. Since you've spent quite some time around him, you already have an established relationship, albeit a non-sexual one. Chances are you're happily imagining what it would be like to date him. He has a heart of gold; you've seen how good he is to your friend, and you want the same care and attention. But he's your friend's brother, so getting lucky could mean a couple of months of fun, followed by walking on eggshells with your friend. Gone are the days of complaining to her about boyfriend troubles, because, guess what, your boyfriend is first her brother! Blood relation, you know! If all goes well, there's nothing to worry about. But should the relationship go south, you know what to expect: you lose more than a boyfriend. One thing's certain: your friendship will never be the same again.

4 The self-obsessed jerk
He's hot! And he knows it! Of course he loves himself more than anyone else, and that would include you. Good-looking and charming, his smile would make you swoon. Somehow you would like the amount of attention he pays to his looks. What's more, he would also push you to keep fit and hit the gym. Sure it's good for you to be with someone who inspires you to work on yourself (read work on your looks). But wait, soon the looks won't matter as much. You'll now be trapped in a vortex of despair and you'll end up hating the way you look, because he always looks better than you and never fails to rub that in. If you value your womanhood, avoid this narcissist piranha. He'll give you the screw of a lifetime, but not the kind you're seeking.

5 The ex-boyfriend (both yours and your friend's)
One of the seven guys you should never date includes your ex-boyfriend(s). As loneliness sets in, he becomes increasingly seductive, granted. You might hit off after years of not seeing each other. And you'll want him back for good. The loneliness will make you forget the reason you two broke up in the first place; but should you jump back into the relationship, those very reasons will resurface in no time. So enjoy the moment, hang out as friends. You would be wise to not start what was long over. And about your friend's ex, it doesn't matter how long ago they broke up. Just remember, if you value your friendship, avoid him at all costs. Never forget the aftermath of hooking-up with her ex. The word will spread like fire and you are sure to kill your reputation as a loyal friend. So, take care of the temptation babe.

6 The Intellectual Stud
You think you're sensible? Then you would judge a man not only on the basis of how he looks but also how he thinks. But then, there exist these men, who are really smart, almost in a scientist kind of a way. Instead of their looks, they charm you with the beauty of their mind. And boy, are you charmed! You love how you can discuss philosophy, literature, the Middle East and homosexuality with him, all in the same night. Often you are left enriched by these conversations. Yet sometimes, he seems condescending, judging you on the basis of your knowledge of Kafka and not real life. Be warned: this may turn out to be a mentally exhausting relationship and not an emotionally enriching one. God knows how many books and magazines you'll have to read just to keep the relationship going for a month!

7 The psycho stalker (a.k.a the social media perv)
Who doesn't like having multiple likes, retweets and sugary comments on their social media profiles? Yet there is something irking about this one person who constantly likes and comments on your pictures. Stuff like 'Nice one!', 'You're the best!' and the like. This guy would message you constantly and go through your oldest posts and like them just to get your attention. And wait, he doesn't stop at that. He adds your friends and makes his intentions loud and clear: he's watching you and wants you to feel special, in a creepy way that. All that interest may make you feel special; but is this guy only doing this to you? Chances are he's into 10 women (and men) at the same time and is just trying his luck with you. This man is a bee that likes to get around (if you know what we mean). Stay away!

Know any other men women should never mingle with? Tell us about them?

First Published: Jul 01, 2014 14:42 IST