Sutapa Sikdar says Irrfan Khan ‘was not husband material’: ‘He would surprise and surpass all definitions’

Irrfan Khan’s wife, Sutapa Sikdar, opened up about the kind of husband he was to her. She said he was not conventionally romantic but made sweet gestures like singing for her in Bengali.

Writer Sutapa Sikdar gave an insight into her relationship with her husband, late actor Irrfan Khan, in a recent interview. She said that he was never quintessentially romantic, yet tried to make her feel special in his own way.

Irrfan Khan with wife Sutapa Sikdar.

In an interview with The Times of India, Sutapa said, “Irrfan was not husband material. Nah, he wasn’t (that’s a view from the definition we expect a husband to be - from the films, the novels and the merchandise companies). I tried to sometimes make him ask for normal things - like celebrating birthdays. But it didn’t work (so red roses, dark chocolates, diamonds, Valentine’s Day etc, were not discussed, leave aside being considered).”

Sutapa said that she knew exactly how he was when she married him after several years of being in a relationship with him. She said that she could not find fault with him, as he did not even remember his own birthday. However, his little gestures let her know that she was special.

“But how could I miss that he sang in Bengali because he knew I would love it without saying it? He would keep mogras on my study table as I wrote for a series tirelessly,” she said, adding, “Irrfan cannot be defined as a husband or father or star as per social definitions. He would surprise and surpass all definitions, but the fact remains that he was someone very special or else why would I remember him every day even just to fight?”

Irrfan and Sutapa were together for 35 years, of which they were married for 25, until he died in April this year after a two-year battle with neuroendocrine tumour. In a statement on behalf of the family, Sutapa had said that the loss was not ‘personal’ as millions were grieving with her.

“The only thing I have a grudge against him is, he has spoiled me for life. His strive for perfection doesn’t let me settle for ordinary in anything. There was a rhythm which he always saw in everything, even in cacophony and chaos, so I have learnt to sing and dance to the music of that rhythm, even with my tone-deaf voice and two left feet,” she said.

Sutapa as well as her son, Babil, have been sharing priceless memories with Irrfan on social media. In July, she shared a black-and-white photo of herself, presumably clicked by her husband, along with a heartbreaking note. “When I look back ,when life was not black and white. I see you standing there... With the Nikon in your neck and looking thru your lenses.Irrfan I will miss you partner.. How many more miles to go.. How many more roads alone??” she wrote.

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