Good sex makes the world go round! Helpful hints to make your lovemaking sessions even better
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Good sex makes the world go round! Helpful hints to make your lovemaking sessions even better

Take it from the ancients, life will be totally balanced only when you take your lover to the moon and back

brunch Updated: Sep 15, 2018 19:58 IST
Seema Anand
Seema Anand
Hindustan Times
sex,sexual intercourse,erotica
Modern medicine claims it decreases the chances of heart attacks and increases grey cell activity – good sex makes you healthier and more intelligent(Imaging by Sunil Kumar Mallik)

The ancients believed that good sex ensured a stable marriage, a stable marriage ensured a stable society, and a stable society meant a stable kingdom.

To illustrate this, here is an apocryphal story from the 13th century, set in an eastern kingdom in India. A king was sitting with his ministers when a naked woman ran into the court. The scandalised ministers rushed forward to clothe her, but she stopped them.

“I am fed up,” she said. “I have always made sure to fully pleasure all my lovers, but no man has ever taken the trouble to satisfy me completely. And I have decided that until a man is able to satisfy me fully I will not get dressed again.”

The ministers fell into panic. Suppose this became the fashion? Suppose all their wives took to the streets naked because they were dissatisfied in bed?

The king realised he would have to do something. He could see that his ministers were no longer thinking about the welfare of his people or the security of his borders – just the naked woman and the kind of rebellion she might incite.

He called for any man who could help. For a while it seemed hopeless, but eventually a man came forward. He led the woman away, and lo and behold, she returned to court the next morning fully clothed!

The delighted king told the man to write a book on his knowledge of how to satisfy a woman completely. Because never again did he want his kingdom or his people to fall into this kind of uncertainty.

Silence is for monks. Lovers need to express their arousal through sounds. It heightens the excitement of both partners equally

The ultimate panacea

Over the centuries, the wise and the sagacious have consistently recommended great sex as the panacea for most ills. The Chinese considered it the elixir of youth and the path to glowing skin. According to the Sushruta Samhita, a sixth century text on Ayurveda, different sexual positions could be used to cure chronic illnesses.

Modern medicine claims it decreases the chances of heart attacks and increases grey cell activity – good sex makes you healthier and more intelligent.

It has even been proposed as a solution for climate change. According to Wilhelm Reich (a post World War II analyst), bad sex and pent up frustration caused a negative atmospheric layer that threatened to suffocate the world, and the only way to dissolve it was to blast it with ‘orgone energy’ (the energy of ‘superior orgasms’).

But what is good sex and how does one achieve it?

There is no one-size-fits-all formula. But the good news is we have an enormous potential for arousal. The human body is an unending feast of erogenous zones and the mind – which is the ultimate erogenous zone – has an infinite capacity for excitement.

But good sex needs the indulgence of time and attention. If there were mobile phones in 300 AD, the Kama Sutra’s first mantra would have been to ‘leave them in the other room.

And one is never too busy to make time for something you really want to do. Do not buy into the whole ‘who has the time for all this seduction nonsense’ – that is just the excuse of below-average lovers who do not have the energy and prowess to get their partners to the moon and back.

Lovers need to express their arousal through sounds (Imaging by Sunil Kumar Mallik)

Pleasure upon pleasure

You are capable of feeling incredible pleasure – maybe not every single time – but certainly often enough to make it worth your while. That level of arousal and excitement and pleasure is the most fabulous feeling in the world. And the most addictive…

Here are a few helpful hints from the Kama Sutra on how to elevate your lovemaking.

Cushions

An essential accessory for all lovers, the Kama Sutra recommends eight different shapes of cushions – crescent, round, square, rectangular etc. When placed under different parts of the body they change the angle and depth of penetration and this in turn changes the sensations that you will experience. Try it once. You will never look back.

Tip: Do not place a pillow under your head.

Love sounds

Silence is for monks. Lovers need to express their arousal through sounds. It heightens the excitement of both partners equally.

Tip: The Kama Sutra says love sounds are a great barometer of good sex. You know that things are going according to plan if your lover starts by making the guttural sounds of the pigeon which go up in pitch and urgency as desire mounts.

The no-touch kiss

Feather light touches build anticipation. Don’t grab, pull, force or slobber. Wrap a strand of her hair around your forefinger to hold her head in place – nothing more – and gently tease her lower lip with yours. Sustain it till she is desperate for more. Or hold him by his sleeve with the lightest touch.

Tip: When there is just one point of bodily contact, you savour it more.

The post-coital story

What you do after sex defines how eagerly your partner looks forward to having sex with you the next time. A woman takes a very long time to cool down after her orgasm and what happens during this period will literally decide whether it was a pleasurable experience or not. The Kama Sutra says that after sex it’s time to cuddle and tell her stories of lovers who lived happily-ever-after; make her feel secure and happy.

Tip: Post-coital intimacy will make up for anything that you don’t do particularly well in bed and she will go to sleep thinking you are the best lover in the world.

No feasts before lovemaking

You can go on the most romantic dinner – candlelight, oysters, champagne, red roses, all the flirting in the world. But you need energy to digest your food and you need energy to drive arousal. The body can only do one thing at a time, and if you have just eaten, it will automatically pick digestion.

Tip: Figure out a clever after-dinner activity, and give it two hours at least. It will allow you to digest your dinner and increase the anticipation and excitement.

Kamadevika Seema Anand, a London-based mythologist and narrative practitioner, is an acknowledged authority on the Kama Sutra, and delivers lectures on Eastern Erotology. Her new book, The Arts of Seduction, is based on her wildly popular Ted Talk, which has been viewed nearly eight million times.

From HT Brunch, September 16, 2018

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First Published: Sep 15, 2018 19:58 IST