Guest column:Infuse life with joy, self-contentment

If one’s thought process seems to be going haywire, and there is no meaning or sense to life, it is always worthwhile to talk about it, whether to a professional or a trusted friend, but talk one must

“Taking joy in living is a woman’s best cosmetic.” I recently came across this quote and it immediately struck a chord with me. The quote is not exclusive to women but applies to humanity as a whole. Indeed, it is imperative to be comfortable with oneself, to forgive oneself, and yet, keep striving towards growth.

It is said taking joy in living is a woman’s best cosmetic, but this is applicable to all of humanity. (Representative Image/HT File)

Self-contentment and joy should always be our lives’ basic ingredient. Contrary to popular perception, contentment and the need to progress can coexist.

While joy can and does come from external sources, it will not last unless we feel it within as well. At times, we may not be able to feel the joy, but staying on the chosen path and keeping up with our duties can help spark joy with time.

While working as a therapist, I would suggest my clients to stay put and go with the flow, and that the feeling of joy will eventually have to follow. Consider an employee who might not ‘feel like’ going to a monthly office get-together on a particular instance, but, dresses up and shows up with a smile anyhow. Chances are that they will not regret it and will pat their back for taking the decision later. A simpler analogy is that we usually don’t ‘feel like’ exercising, at least not till we develop a habit. But, every time, once we begin to do it, we feel good. Action does have immense power, to change our mindset, to put things in focus, and to shift our perspective.

Another way to infuse joy in life is carving in some ‘me time’ as well. A friend once asked what should be done during this me time. It so happens that we have become so accustomed to our routines and of always being occupied that spare moments invoke a dread. This was felt by many of us during lockdown, self-isolation and quarantine. Me time is very subjective. While one may use it to reflect and ponder, another may use it for zumba and while some may like to flip through old photo albums, another may enjoy watching TV. It is like a call to find our calling.

Also, we have a duty towards ourselves, which is recovering from our mistakes. Dwelling in guilt or repentance does not offer anything. For instance, often in the middle of a heated situation, I remind myself that I have cent percent right to my mental wellbeing. It may not solve the problem at hand immediately, but definitely strengthens my capacity to deal with it, because, instead of a reaction, I automatically choose a response.

Last but not the least, if one’s thought process seems to be going haywire, and there is no meaning or sense to life, it is always worthwhile to talk about it, whether to a professional or a trusted friend. But talk one must. Keeping emotions bottled up is a sure-shot recipe for distress.

As said by Audre Lorde, an American writer and feminist, “When we speak, we are afraid our words will not be heard or welcomed. But when we are silent, we are still afraid, so it is better to speak.”

Sharing one’s joys and sorrows is essential to one’s psychological survival. So, to keep my joie-de-vivre alive, I make it a point to enjoy my own company, to accept and love myself, and, to keep in touch with friends and family. I hope you do, too.

reemaban@gmail.com

The writer works as an assistant professor (psychology) at Rajiv Gandhi Govt College in Saha (Ambala)