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Spice of Life: Embrace differences, discover similarities
Leg-pulling, and teasing loved ones adds fun, charm and flavour to otherwise monotonous connections and routine life. We all want to be liked and loved, and when bonds reach an informal level, these needs are automatically fulfilled.
Once, my elder sibling was visiting India from the US with his wife. The couple was basking in the sunlight that reached diagonally in our porch. My younger brother, naughty as always, went up to the roof from the lobby stairs, tied a black string to his huge toy crab, and stealthily lowered it onto the elder bhabhi’s lap. As expected, she let out a scream and tried to shake off the crustacean. We laugh about it to this date, and she joins in good-humouredly.
Leg-pulling, and teasing loved ones adds fun, charm and flavour to otherwise monotonous connections and routine life. We all want to be liked and loved, and when bonds reach an informal level, these needs are automatically fulfilled. However, it’s not with everyone that one can strike such a chord. It begins with a certain matching of mental frequency and wavelength that unfolds with time.
The other day, we were ordering samosas in the staffroom, when one of the teachers added some instructions for the peon about the ‘level of frying’, ‘separate bowl for chutney’ and ‘extent of spice’. Another teacher smilingly directed a jibe to the former educator – ‘Madam, aur kuchch?’, to which we all burst out laughing.
In all relationships, there are bound to be ups and downs. The solution lies in, as they say, ‘matbhed chahe rakhlena, par manbhed nahi’; staying broadminded, mature and having an open loving heart will help all connections thrive, whatever the situations/opinions. Also, there are some sensitive liaisons in life. These are the ones we cannot avoid, in a way cannot even do without, but, at the same time they push our triggers unfailingly. For these, know that, that there’s a duality to every person. For another person, these people might be a beacon of hope. So, while it’s okay if we don’t become best friends with them, we should put in effort to maintain at least a workable link. Everyone’s thought process and behavior can’t click with everyone else. Yet, basic humanity and a willingness to be fair go a long way in ensuring sweet rapports.
It takes wisdom to learn to handle one’s relatives, families, co-workers and friends. Recognising our ‘glimmers’ can ease and facilitate the process. When talking of people, glimmers are small moments with them that bring joy, calm and peace. Staying attuned to and nurturing these glimmers can be helpful. An understanding smile, a shared joke, simultaneously exclaiming at something and compliments are some such glimmers. Interpersonal and intrapersonal peace – both require consistent hard-work and repair, and, the results are always worth it.
So, we laugh when we recall that my elder brother had sneaked his hand onto my sister-in-law’s shoulder from behind while they were watching a horror movie. We laugh when we recall that my younger bhabhi, a nutritionist and dietician, had given me a well-meaning ultimatum to adopt a healthier lifestyle, or she’ll start brutally taunting me.
Homo-sapiens (and all other beings) complement each other. We are meant to be together. I once read that in trying to prove that we don’t need each other, we are unknowingly doing the biggest disservice to each other. Occasionally, do confront - amicably if possible, and assertively, if required; but largely, embrace that everyone is flawed and we just need people whose weirdness is a healthy match for our own messy, yet beautiful weirdness.
The writer is a Jagadhri-based freelance contributor and can be reached at reemaban@gmail.com
