Delhiwale: Inside a businesswoman’s heart

Yasmeen Shah, a businesswoman and single mother, shares her experiences of grief, happiness, and raising her children in a heartfelt interview.

She keeps no hats in her closet, but, metaphorically speaking, she wears many. Yasmeen Shah is a businesswoman, a single parent of two, a drawing-room singer of old Hindi film songs, an accomplished cook of Kashmiri khana, and devoted caretaker of Zoonie, her elderly Persian cat. This evening in her book-filled Central Delhi apartment, she graciously agrees to become a part of our Proust Questionnaire series, in which citizens are nudged to make “Parisian parlour confessions”, all to explore our distinct experiences.

Delhiwale: Inside a businesswoman’s heart

Your idea of happiness.

When I’m sad, I walk out of my house, get into the car, start driving aimlessly along the roads, playing sad ghazals in the stereo. The songs make me cry, and I feel better.

What would be your greatest misfortune?

Already experienced. Nazir and I were love birds since childhood. We had a love marriage. He was very handsome, very tall. People would turn to look at him again and again. He died of lung fibrosis more than 25 years ago. He was 40. I was 30. I went mad. I was also worried for my children. My daughter was two, my son was 14. While still in deep grief, my brother said, “I will give you money every month and take care of you.” He was being kind, but it hit me like a bullet on my back—bataaak! I Immediately took charge of my life, and started my business.

Your favourite occupation.

My business, which is selling Kashmiri shawls and carpets. I also run two guest houses in Kashmir.

Where would you like to live?

In my Kashmir. I live in Delhi because of my children. They are now adults, but because of the absence of their father, I have been hovering over them like a saya. They don’t need me anymore, but I’m still sticking to them. Sometimes I wonder what I got in return after raising my children. I’ve been like their nanny, 24 hours a day. Constantly thinking of ways to make them happy. No time for my own happiness. Meri khushi khatam!

What do you appreciate the most in your friends?

Not showing me artificial love.

What do you hate the most?

Anybody feeling pity for me.

How do you wish to die?

After my daughter settles down in life. She says she is doing fine, but I need to myself feel that she can live without me.