Life let me carve my own path; it has been a hell of a fun ride: Chitra Palekar

“This wasn’t some septuagenarian’s epiphany about life’s final act,” she laughed

MUMBAI: Chitra Palekar’s peach-hued Bandra home is bathed in the soft glow of the evening when she greeted this writer with a warm smile, and chai and cookies. Taking a break from the whirlwind of activity ahead of the launch of her autobiography ‘Tar… ashi aaari gammat’ (‘And... That’s how all the fun happened’), she settles down and says, “Like the reader who would get to know me when they read this book, I had also rediscovered myself while writing.”

Mumbai, India. March 19, 2025: Indian Filmmaker and Author Chitra Palekar poses during her interview for Hindustan Times in Mumbai. Mumbai, India. Mar 19, 2025. (Photo by Raju Shinde/HT Photo) (Hindustan Times)

“There are so many little things to do that sitting down like this makes me both relaxed and guilty,” she says animatedly, her gestures betraying the enthusiasm of a teenager rather than that of a 78-year-old theatre and film veteran.

For Palekar, the book (which was released on Saturday) wasn’t merely a sombre reflection on a life, rather a playful excavation of a journey rich in art, rebellion and reinvention. “This wasn’t some septuagenarian’s epiphany about life’s final act,” she laughed. “It grew from my column ‘Lagori’ (named after the traditional outdoor team game played with a ball and a stack of seven flat stones, where one team aims to knock down the stones while the other tries to rebuild the stack and hit the opposing players) because it imitated life, where I wove vignettes from my career and personal life, teasing out their deeper meanings.”

So captivating were these musings that Majestic Publishers approached her to compile them into a book. “But as stand-alone pieces, they felt too scattered,” she explained. “That’s when they suggested an autobiography, and I said agreed.”

When writing is cathartic

The writing, she admitted, was both cathartic and revealing. “I should’ve been a lemonade wholesaler, given what I’ve done with all the lemons life hurled at me!” she chuckled. “People only knew fragments of me—this book pieced together the full picture.” She paused, reflecting, “I had been happy, sad, furious, even felt like a victim at times. But the question was—why? What had shaped those reactions? Understanding my own ‘X, Y and Z’ of each moment was fascinating.”

Yet, for all its honesty, it was no vengeful tell-all. “I wasn’t writing to settle scores. This book wasn’t about pointing fingers—it was about holding hands, taking the reader along on my journey while I relived it myself,” she said, recalling her earliest brush with performance, when she played Ophelia in a Konkani adaptation of ‘Hamlet’ at just 11. “I had no idea who Shakespeare was, but I was already reciting Ophelia’s soliloquies to my classmates, showing off!” she laughed.

The journey from that precocious child to one of India’s respected theatre and film personalities wasn’t easy. A promising sports career had been cut short when a heart surgery at 19 forced her to shift gears. “So, instead of being on the playground, I threw myself into theatre and academia,” she said. While in the throes of experimental theatre in 1967, she met Amol Palekar, a JJ School of Art graduate and aspiring filmmaker. “I was thinking of becoming a teacher when Amol’s film career took off in 1974 (‘Rajnigandha’), and then in 1981, we decided to make a film, and everything changed.”

Collaboration with Amol Palekar

That first film was inspired by the chilling Manwat murder case (1974). Five young girls, an infant, and four women had been murdered in a tribal village, their blood extracted for a tantric ritual. “Vijay Tendulkar suggested I play Ruhi—the mistress who initiated the ritual murders,” she recalled. “The film won a Jury Award at Nantes, France.”

Over the years, her cinematic contributions evolved behind the scenes—writing screenplays, scripting and eventually directing the critically acclaimed ‘Maati Maay’ (2006). But her life, both personal and professional, shifted dramatically when her 32-year marriage ended in 2000.

“Any relationship that long leaves scars,” she said, “but I didn’t want to be stuck in a dark negative space. Thanks to the therapy course I did, I was able to come out of it.”

Palekar rubs her hands in glee to say: “The best thing was that my autobiography had set me free—liberating me from the confines of others’ expectations and the shadows of my own self-doubt. In its pages, I found a space to unravel the tangled threads of my past, to embrace both the scars and the triumphs as parts of a whole story that was uniquely mine,” adding that she had plans for an English version too. “I want everyone to access it.”

Cause and effect

In the book she also engages with her commitment to social causes, which extended beyond women’s rights. In the early ’90s, her daughter Shalmalee had come out with her sexual orientation, but it wasn’t her sexuality that shocked Chitra—it was the years of silence. “She must’ve felt so alone,” she said, her voice softening. “That was my heartbreak—not that she was gay, but that she didn’t think she could tell me.”

Determined to ensure no other child or parent suffered in isolation, she co-founded Sweekar: The Rainbow Parents in 2017 alongside Aruna Raje and Padma Iyer. “We were parents who supported each other, who learned and grew together,” she explained. Through Sweekar, she offered peer counselling, participated in discussions, and collaborated with NGOs working for LGBTQIA+ rights. The endeavour centered around support, acceptance and empowerment, she underlined. “We made a conscious decision to never out a parent against their will.”

Even as she moved between film, activism, and writing, Chitra Palekar has resisted being boxed into any single role. “I refuse to be defined by just one part of my story,” she said with a smile. “Life let me carve my own path, and just like the book’s title suggested—it has been a hell of a fun ride!”