Malavika’s Mumbaistan: Alpha Billionaires and The End Game

This week’s Malavika’s Mumbaistan introduces you to ‘Comic Book Capers’- four unimaginably powerful and ambitious men, billionaires many times over and influential beyond belief, who are caught up in an epic battle to vanquish each other, scoop up whatever spoils of earthly resources they can grab and... leave on their private spaceships...

Musk, The Joker?

Malavika’s Mumbaistan: Alpha Billionaires and The End Game

The winter of 2022. Planet Earth has touched the 8 billion population mark and as the devastation of climate change continues to wreak havoc across the world in the form of torrential floods, raging forest fires and frightening diseases and a debilitating war upends the economy across nations, the doomsday clock indicates that humanity is perilously close to annihilation and that the end game has begun.

In this scenario, four unimaginably powerful and ambitious men, billionaires many times over and influential beyond belief, are caught up in an epic battle to vanquish each other, scoop up whatever spoils of earthly resources they can get their hands on before boarding their privately owned space ships to relocate to a new planet.

In the midst of this, in his lair the world’s richest man aka The Joker, widely believed to be a psychopath with a warped, sadistic sense of humour and a penchant for deadly pranks and unbridled chaos, is holding humanity to ransom with his latest trick: Having recently bought the planet’s most influential media platform, one of the ways he plans to destabilize humankind is by keeping everyone on their toes and at their wit’s end, by changing its rules arbitrarily and overnight, so that no one knows where they stand, what their status is or even who they are any more. Often described as an evil genius with a ghastly permanent grin on his face, the Joker’s latest missive appears to have achieved its purpose by (blue) ticking off people as he appears to play softball with a (blue) ticking bomb…

***

Enter, Brainiac the Zuck

Not too far away, tucked away in the safety of his den, the Joker’s arch-enemy Brainiac is intently tracking his every move.

Widely believed to be an extraterrestrial android or cyborg, the two men have been deadly foes for as long as people can recall, both brilliant, powerful and wealthy beyond their wildest dreams. Brainiac’s superpower and his claim to fame and fortune have been his unique ability to shrink entire cities and communities into virtual byte-sized pieces, which he then sells to the highest bidder for enormous amounts of money and influence. But The Joker’s latest acquisition of the world’s most powerful media empire poses a direct threat to Brainiac and his enterprise, challenging his position as media lord of the world. “So, he’s now demanding that everyone who wants to remain on his platform has to pay him an admission fee?”, mutters the curiously boyish-looking cyborg, whose 200-year-old lifespan gives him the appearance of being an eternal teen.

“Well, let’s see how his plans work, once I announce that anyone who subscribes to this latest act of madness of paying The Joker’s fee, will be summarily and permanently banned from entering/ using/ accessing any of my platforms!” he says, adding “Let’s see how the trickster gets around that!”

***

Lex Luthor Bezos

Unbeknownst to both the Joker and Brainiac, at the headquarters of his gargantuan empire that consists of an all-powerful corporation with entrails across the length and breadth of the planet, another alpha billionaire, the power-mad CEO Lex Luthor, celebrated as much for his above-average intelligence and wealth as his famous bald pate, is finessing his own plans of wresting control of the Earth’s precious resources, before hot-footing it on his phallic-shaped spaceship to conquer another Planet. “Fools” he guffaws, (he is known for his fulsome laugh) “Making people pay for blue ticks or threatening to ban them from using Brainiac platforms ain’t gonna work”, he laughs, “What if I announce a dictat that henceforth anyone known to pay for The Joker’s blue tick or seen to be on Brainiac’s platforms, will have no access to my vast network of goods and services across the world henceforth? Once people get banned from buying, selling and conducting their daily commerce through my platform how will they exist? How will they order their basic household supplies, who will deliver their books and clothes and lifesaving medicines to the remotest corners of the Planet -huh? Let’s see what people do when push comes to shove and they have to choose between The Joker’s and Brainiac’s silly offerings and my life-supporting one.”

***

Ozymandias Gates, the high-minded humanitarian?

Even as the three arch-enemies plot their next moves for world domination, ensconced in his luxurious fortress is Ozymandias the high-minded and exceptionally brilliant fourth alpha billionaire in the quartet who monitors the unfolding situation closely. His supercomputers have managed to access each and every thought in the brains of his rivals and he is already ahead of the curve, with a diabolical plan of his own, one that will not only mitigate the ambitions of his rivals but have him emerge as the saviour of the world.

The child of wealthy parents, who inherited a substantial amount of their wealth which he’d chosen to give away to charity at an early age, Ozymandias who earned for himself the sobriquet of ‘the smartest man on the planet’ has an infinitely more subtle way of achieving his goals. “Let’s see, to stop these three idiots in their tracks and destroy their empires, to begin with, I could, with one flick of a switch, change the algorithms with which humankind accesses anything offered by The Joker, Brainiac and Lex. That’ll teach them won’t it, darling?” he says, turning for approval to his wife, forgetting she has left him.

“But that would be too simple and not worthy of my formidable grey cells. “He continues: “So here’s what I will do: I will create a virus - that will attack every computer, mobile or computing device to stop people from using sites such as those owned by those three punks and which will put a stop to the workings of the entire planet. And then, when my rivals are driven to penury and bankruptcy- begging for my help and mercy, then I will create some sort of solution to the problem which will reverse the situation and, in the bargain, win the whole world’s gratitude and goodwill. Once that is achieved, making off with the world’s loot on a spaceship will be easy-peasy…”

***

And so, in this manner, as the hands of the doomsday clock perilously approach the deadly hour and fear and anxiety have gripped the planet, four men, wealthy and powerful beyond belief, plot and plan the start of The End Game.

And to think it all began with a (blue) ticking bomb.