Spice of life: Knowing our true self, finding meaning in life

It’s always possible to develop, grow and evolve. Stay tuned, stay active, and our purpose/meaning will automatically come to us and eventually get fulfilled

Being a person with a background in psychology, I’m sometimes asked about topics, such as ‘knowing our true self’ and ‘finding meaning in life’. No doubt, knowing our true selves and finding meaning in life are of utmost importance (and even inter-related).

Sometimes, let yourself have your own company (me-time), too; but over-all it is advisable to strike a balance. It’s the balance that is going to hone the perspective. (Getty Images/iStockphoto)

It reminds me of an incident narrated by my mother, which goes like this: When she had recently got married, one of my father’s colleagues casually asked her how she liked to spend her free hours. She, in her honest and simple manner, answered that she likes to think. The colleague scoffed at her response, unknowingly highlighting our society’s over-emphasis on productivity. To me, however, it is clear that since my mother ‘truly’ knows her ‘real self’, which is a relaxed and calm persona, that her response was what it was, and that the colleague’s ridicule had no effect on her.

Further, it can undoubtedly be said that once we actually know (and accept) ourselves, finding meaning in life comes both automatically and easily. If I take my own example, and the same must be the case with many more people, I construct my self-image socially. It implies that my self-identity is shaped by the feedback I get from my significant others (people who matter to me). From that self-image arises my meaning in life – I am told that I am a helping and supportive person, so that’s how I find meaning (and purpose) in life as well.

All in all, when I look around, I find that it won’t be an exaggeration to say that as long as one’s way of leading life is harmless, it’s okay. Most of the times, it’s also okay to just go with the flow. I recently came across a quote, ‘It’s absolutely fine if all that you did today was breathe’; so soothing, so uplifting. Why hurry, when slow and steady wins the race? Why feel agitated, when calm is a superpower? Why get stuck in huge philosophical questions when one can simply curve the lips and smile to set everything straight?

However, there are a couple of things we must know and ensure for a peaceful life. Firstly, know that there is something called neuroplasticity. It indicates the malleability of the human mind. Whenever we are confronted by a new situation, or a new challenge, and we take initial steps to cope with and overcome the problem(s), there are new neural connections that begin to form in our brain cells thus facilitating change, adjustment and adaptation. They say that if you are at a dark place in life, then instead of thinking that you are buried, consider yourself to be a seed that has been sown (and will soon sprout). Such a beautiful thought!

Also, as we grow, it’s essential to get sufficient water, air and sunlight (speaking symbolically). For that, inter-mingle. It’s ‘people’ who provide a human being with these essential components. A person might survive biologically when isolated, but psychologically s/he will wither off. So, mix up, share your truth, and live boldly. Sometimes, let yourself have your own company (me-time), too; but over-all it is advisable to strike a balance. It’s the balance that is going to hone the perspective.

It’s always possible to develop, grow and evolve. Stay tuned, stay active, and our purpose/meaning will automatically come to us and eventually get fulfilled. Also, since the purpose is usually ‘in connection with our society’, do try to give back to the community, to contribute; whether by way of time, or material, or money – that will always be a personal call. reemaban@gmail.com

The writer is a Jagadhri-based freelance contributor