Lock Upp's Saisha Shinde talks about mentally abusive ex: 'I was a woman inside who was having sex with a gay man'
In the latest episode of the ongoing reality show Lock Upp, Saisha Shinde opened up about the time when she was mentally abused in a relationship. Saisha, who was formerly Swapnil Shinde, used to be in a relationship with a man. Lock Upp is streamed on Alt Balaji and MX PLayer and host Kangana Ranaut appears on the weekend episodes. (Also read: Lock Upp: Payal Rohatgi, Poonam Pandey fail to name the President of India)
Saisha was talking to Payal Rohatgi and Poonam Pandey, discussing how women are often at the receiving end of abuse in relationships but rarely talk about it. Poonam said that she suffered domestic violence for four years before finally speaking against it. “I would happily put makeup to hide the blackened areas of my face and talk as if nothing happened,” Poonam said. Payal added that Indian celebrities are not vocal about domestic abuse and Saisha said that that's how love makes them behave.
Saisha then said, "Even I was abused in a relationship. It wasn't physical. It was mental abuse but on another level. He made me feel like I am sh*t. He used to stand outside my door and just wait thinking that someone will come and I'll cheat on him. And, let's say if I cheat on him, he'll catch me red-handed and he will use it against me. He used to climb down the terrace, stand on the pipeline, open the blinders of the bathroom and see, secretly, if I am masturbate. To use that against me."
When Payal Rohatgi asked Saisha, "Why can't you masturbate?" She told her, "Because that's the reason that I don't want to have sex with him." Saisha added that she used to feel that her boyfriend could be right. "Back then, I thought he's saying the right thing but I was never happy in there. Physically, I was never happy at all. I used to always wonder, 'kya mujhe samajh hi nahin aa raha hai (I could not understand)' because I was a woman inside who was having sex with a gay man. Obviously, something was wrong but I told myself that I am gay only."
Saisha is a celebrity fashion designer and has worked with Kangana Ranaut, Kareena Kapoor Khan, Sunny Leone, Shraddha Kapoor and Bhumi Pednekar, among many others. She also designed a gown that Harnaaz Kaur Sandhu wore for the finale round at Miss Universe 2021.