‘Will vote for a society free of bias where all can coexist peacefully’

18 million people will vote for the first time in 2024. In a series, HT looks at their issues, hopes, grouses

For the better part of two decades, Zafar Habib’s identity has weighed heavily on his shoulders. It has followed him around stubbornly since his early school days and refuses to let go now, even within the walls of the classroom where he studies history as an undergraduate student.

Zafar Habib, 20 (HT Photo)

“It started when I was pretty young,” says the 20-year-old. “The bullying in school because of my name.”

In school, on playgrounds, at birthday parties, even in tuition classes – name-calling, abuse, even physical violence — the years of bullying wrecked him.

“The first few times, around the time I was in Class 2, I probably didn’t realise what was happening. They would just call me ‘Habib’ and snigger,” he said.

It didn’t take long for the name-calling to turn violent.

“It must have been as early as 2011-12. I reached school early and went to class to keep my bags when two other boys started taunting me using my surname as usual and then one boy pushed me against the wall,” says Habib, his fists clenched, the ripples of trauma inescapable as his 6ft-tall frame shudders.

“But you also learn to stand up for yourself when you grow up.”

Succour was only to be found within his three-bedroom home in Mukherjee Nagar in north Delhi, where he healed by hiding within the comforting jackets of paperbacks and the riffs of indie music.

Habib grew up in a home largely unhindered by economic encumbrances. His parents, both professors – his mother of physics and father of mathematics – pushed him to read against the grain and channel his experience into critical thought.

“They have been through all the bad experiences and the bullying, but they never tried to influence or encroach on my beliefs,” he says, visibly more at ease revisiting a safe space.

He relaxes back into his chair as the years of academic exposure frames his trauma responses.

“They encouraged me to mould my experiences into strengths and lucid ideologies,” he says.

Now in college, Habib’s anger and hurt have found release in his growing political consciousness. And, he said, his identity would dictate the electoral choices he makes on May 25, when he casts his vote at a polling booth in Mukherjee Nagar, as one of the 15-million people eligible to exercise their franchise in the national capital.

“Voting is my right as a citizen and I intend to do my part in building the country’s future, one that is hopefully not marred by feelings of repulsion towards certain communities. All communities can co-exist, as we have seen throughout the history of our nation,” he says, this time with hope, with the possibility of a future free of bullying and discrimination.

“Even 12 or 13 years ago, young children knew whom to bully on the basis of religion and identity. If that sentiment is further fanned, what is the future of our society?”

Habib is part of a cohort of 18 million people who will exercise their franchise for the first time in the ongoing general elections, their aspirations and concerns shaping the battle for the 18th Lok Sabha.

For much of his childhood, Habib wanted to change schools – the most obvious and simple escape.

“My parents were worried too. I refused to go to school, because I was scared. I remember a conversation between my parents about me taking my mother’s maiden surname, which is Hindu or even just getting schooled at home,” he says.

“The resistance to going to school got to a point where I would deliberately cause a scene to miss the school bus, because in my mind, once you get on the bus, there’s no going back, “ Habib says.

“After that, I stopped fighting and accepted it.”

But he admits that the discrimination didn’t germinate with him. His parents, an interfaith couple who eloped, weren’t insulated from similar tensions.

“My mother is a Hindu from Delhi and my father is a Muslim from Aligarh,” he says.

His parents were flung headlong into a struggle for acceptance and peace decades ago; Habib underlines that the present is only an evolution of the past. In the 12-odd years since he was first bullied, the abuse has transformed.

“What was once physically targeted at me is now more tacit, in all the avenues around me, dictating my life,” says the student of Shiv Nadar University in Greater Noida.

And the wounds are deep, often triggering.

“Even a professor making a simple and innocent remark like, ‘Eid aa raha hain, Zafar sabko biryani khilaega’ (Eid is coming, Zafar will treat everyone to biryani) makes me feel uncomfortable and targeted. I do not want that kind of attention,” he says.

So when the choice came, he turned to history for answers and for closure.

“I enjoy history a lot. It literally traces how our society came to be. The thing about history is that it’s written and done and you cannot change it at your whims,” he said.

Zafar said he has always been inclined towards history and likes to read outside what is assigned in his curriculum as well.

He points to what he calls “disparities” in what is handed out as reading material at schools and universities, and insists that Muslims cannot be seen only as invaders.

“There are no moral implications in history. This narrative of good and bad should not be pushed on to young minds,” Habib says.

So, he says, “I am voting for freedom of expression and a society without such discrimination.”

When he feels cornered, Habib finds comfort in his hostel room, in the company of video games and an acoustic guitar.“I’m a part-time student and a full-time indie music fanatic,” he says.

He hopes to continue his studies till he becomes a professor, just like his parents.

“I am surrounded by good friends now and I love studying. I want to stay in university for as long as possible, just to freeze this moment.”